An Oasis Of Hope and Love: The OLCC Retreat Center

I felt love in a way so different than ever before as a result of my recent retreat experience. Complete love in that we are all children of God.  I felt safe. This was the place for me. Father Dan was abundant with love for each of us.  His story-telling and presence made this journey real because he is genuine and shares with sincerity and humor.  Thank you Father Dan.

I arrived in Corpus Christi as a woman in need of healing. Not just physical healing, but spiritual healing.  I love God, I always have. Every day I have said my prayers and counted my blessings. I also have known that my soul is deeply bruised and my goal to leave this earthly life in full peace with God, my family and friends cannot be met unless I do more.

The serene campus’ focal point, a stunning blue dome, sits atop the Our Lady of Corpus Christi chapel. The gold stars on the dome reflect the vision of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Inside this most beautiful mission style church you can view elegant works of art and the Perpetual Adoration chapel. 

I did not need to be concerned with meeting my basic needs, they take care of that for you. Healthy meals, with my dietary needs, were prepared with love. I stayed in a private room with a private bath. They even transported me to and from the airport. These simple luxuries are provided to us so that we concern ourselves only with healing, prayer and growing closer to God.  Our team leader gently and with great care attended to every question and need.  

You are wondering what I accomplished, what did I learn?  Each individual receives their own rewards.  I will share mine, but to see my face and hear what I have to say would be a better reflection as to the depth of this journey.

I feel so much peace and have not stopped humming.  I want to be with peace for others.  In the world of cancer, this alone can change your life. We suffer so much pain, anxiety, and fear and this circulates around us, impacting the ones we love.  Having a deeper sense of peace will bring people closer to us.  It breaks down communication barriers with doctors and helps family and friends feel more at ease with our discomfort. I will have much more strength for when things turn for me.

It was also revealed to me that several things were interfering with my relationship with God. I was relieved of that burden, I am lighter. Moving forward is now easier.

I can see God, Jesus, in others much more clearly. By seeing God in others we are more loving, even in a state of bodily chaos, our hearts can shine.  I have written about this before and have strived to do this, but had not always been successful.  I feel confident that I will remain able to see God in others, even in the worst times.

On my last evening I was adoring the Blessed Virgin Mary.  The church's entryway has a beautiful statue of Our Lady Mother Mary. As I rested in awe of her, I witnessed for a brief second, her eyes look upon me with mercy.  This may sound ridiculous but trust me, it is true.  I trust in her. I trust in God. It was a very special gift given to me, to share with you.

We are not alone in our battle with cancer. God is with us and wants for us to find and keep His love.  For our journey will not end when we leave this earthly life.  He offers us great comfort.

I want for YOU to feel His comfort in any way possible. I hope you know that I am sincere.

I would like you to send me an email if you are interested in attending a custom retreat for women with cancer, ovarian cancer especially.

I am talking with Sister Laudem Gloriae and Father Dan as to the details. I know of one woman who already who wants to attend.

You do not have to be a Catholic. A donation in leiu of a fee is requested but not required. They do not wish for money to be a barrier.

The OLCC Retreat Center offers a place of hope, peace and love.

You are welcome to attend any of the already scheduled retreats, but if you want to go as part of our special group, please email me as soon as possible.

My email address is servivorgirl@gmail.com and put “OLCC Retreat” in the subject line.

Please make sure you are OK to travel with your doctor.  I am happy to reply to your questions as well.

Here is the link to the retreat: http://www.deepprayer.org

Peace and Blessings from Servivorgirl

100,000 VIEWS Thanks To You

I don't even know what to say.  I am very humbled that this little blog has created such a strong interest.  To be honest, I am stunned. This makes me very happy.

I went back and read a post from May of 2012 at a time when I was in carboplatin desensitization treatment.  I was not a happy camper. Today I am here, not in THAT condition, but much healthier and much happier.

I have no real executive plan or outline as to the content for my blog.

I write about what is important at the moment because that is how life with cancer or any other severe illness runs.  Often times we just live the best we can moment by moment and every plan has a "plan B".

I thank God for all the loving people in my life and I pray for your health and happiness.

Thank you for following along beside me for without you I would not be here.

Peace and Blessings,

Servivorgirl

"NED The Movie" Across America February 4th 2015: WORLD CANCER DAY

What are you doing February 4th, 2015 on World Cancer Day?

All across America, on this special day, Regal Cinema will host screenings of "N.E.D. The Movie".  I have never witnessed a nationwide event like this in the history of ovarian cancer awareness. This is truly something special.

In addition, people in the city of Seattle will have the opportunity to see Dr. Barbara Goff.  Dr. Barbara Goff is a highly accomplished leader in the field of gynecology oncology and will answer questions after the screening in Seattle.  I am very excited about this event.

I have seen this truly inspiring and uplifting film. Their music is awesome.  

This is your chance to see the incredible impact these gynecology oncology surgeons have by using their music to raise awareness of this issue.  See how they save womens lives using their surgical skills. 

They empower all of us by dedicating their time, not only to saving women in the physical sense, but by bringing people together with their music to educate and raise awareness of ovarian cancer.

I also see this event as a vehicle to bridge gaps in understanding between women with ovarian cancer and the loved ones in her life.  

Please click on the links below to find a show at a Regal Cinema near you on February 4th, 2015.

http://www.nedthemovie.com/regal       (Fandango website does require a registration for notifications as to when tickets are available for purchase.)

Meet Dr. Barbara Goff: http://www.seattlecca.org/doctor/barbara-a-goff.cfm

I will see you in Seattle on February 4th, 2015!

Peace and Blessings

Servivorgirl

Saying Goodbye To Anger

Welome to 2015!

To be honest, I feel like it is already February.  The first 9 days of 2015 have been packed full with major decisions, fluctuations in my state of health, being magnetized by and consumed with finishing the Bible and being true to my calling, as best I can be. With all this I have not had the energy keep up with the level of watch over the ovarian cancer community like I would prefer.

So as I write this I am deflated, sad, because I just learned that a 17 year old young woman has died from ovarian cancer.  #SamStrong May she rest in peace.

Before I learned of her death my original intention was to do a post about cancer and dental care.  I wanted to keep the first post of 2015 simple. There is just too much to mention so I will sum that portion of this post up by saying this:  "Google Biofilm and follow the recommendations to keep biofilm at bay".  Your teeth wil love you. 

Spiritual care is of course much more involved.

In the next few weeks I will be attending a 3 day spiritual retreat of silence and prayer.  As God has offered ways for me to keep helping other people I find that I am more and more inspired to learn as much as I can about Love from God and His Mercy. I thought I had understood this, but I had not.

I did not know the young woman who left her family and friends so early but there must have been a deeply rooted feeling of brotherly love within her circle.  If you search #SamStrong you will see all the wonderful things she accomplished during her short life.  Her spirit inspires me. She seemed to have mercy.

Someone close to me recently said that when it comes to God things will be revealed to you when you are ready.  Each soul on earth is on a separate timeline but we all are welcome to receive God at anytime, if we choose to do so. God gave us free will.

So although I have been dissappointed in myself for taking so long to read through the Bible, I will not berate myself.  I have finished reading through Romans and in the past few weeks I have been enlighted in so many ways.  

I recently realized that I had been holding onto anger about a particular scenario.  I thought it had gone, but it hadn't.  By the acts of confession, prayer and studying I am truly beginning to understand what mercy is.  

I am not a model but am dedicated to having true mercy from this point on.  

Anger is the enemy.  The priest said that even justified anger serves no real purpose and that God wants us to have mercy in the way that Christ Jesus has mercy.  I want every ounce of anger out of my soul and it will be a labor of love to do so.  I do not want to die with any anger in my heart.

I plan to write about my retreat experience in hopes that some of you may be inspired to heal yourself in spirit too.  This will help our bodies.

Thank you for following along with this disorganized post.  I will be looking for other women to join me on another spiritual retreat that will include prayer and dedication to healing from illness as well, whether you are the patient or loved one.  You do not have to be Catholic to attend.  

Please email me if you may be interested at servivorgirl@gmail.com.

Peace and Blessings,

Servivorgirl

Happy Holidays From Servivorgirl and Merry Christmas

My sweet cat Marilyn and I are rejoicing in the miracle of our Lord Jesus Christ.  This is a bittersweet Christmas. 

My heart aches.  I miss my mom.  I am also very grateful to be alive on this day to celebrate the season of the birth of our Lord.  I love my family, friends and treatment team.

To my friends who celebrate in other ways may you be joyful and with peace this holiday season.

Seasons Greetings to all.

Love,

Servivorgirl

The Perfect Tree

Missing you all and needing to say that I wish I had the energy to write more often.  I am still sleeping 12 to 15 hours per day.  I had the pleasure of getting a short respite with family over the past few weeks and some interesting new things happened while I was there. 

It is worth noting that my Avastin dosage has increased because I continue to gain weight.  (The weight gain is an entirely separate post, too complex to even discuss.) Ha!  

Anyways, I was walking on the kitchen floor and heard a cracking sound in my left foot.  The popping sound that accompanied a sudden surge of pain and inability to bear weight on said foot sent me to the ER.  I had only been there an hour!  Ha.  I am now wearing a big walking boot and do have a fracture in my left foot.  

Then for two days non-stop I was bedridden with terrible nausea and an evil headache.  What???  I am  on vacation.  

We missed the local tree lighting ceremony with all the holiday extras.  I felt terrible for my aunt. Instead of us walking around the town relishing in holiday cheer she was busy taking care of me.  I love my aunt so much.  I plan to visit next year for a do-over.

Then, yes there is still more, I had to go to the ER a second time because I had unexplained chest pain, neck pain and pain with shortness of breath.  Geeeeeze leweeeeze!

They treated me as if I was having a cardiac issue or embolism.  This has never happened before.  I was panicky to say the least.  When it first happened the noise of the TV was hard to bear and I could not turn my head.  The pain along my neck was on both sides, intense and sharp.

I was given a nitroglycerin patch, IV Lorazapam and some sort of blood thinner. The ER staff and physician were incredibly polite and efficient. They drew labs for cardiac enzymes, checked my legs and chest for blood clots and admitted me for overnight observation. They drew two more enzyme labs over the course of my stay and performed a stress test on my heart. I was very impressed and am so grateful for receiving such a complete cardiac work up. 

After all of THAT, my heart is in good shape, thank you dear Lord.  

What the cause of this mysterious chest episode was, I do not know. If it happens again then I will be referred to a cardiologist, per my PCP.

So this is where we get to the "perfect tree" part.  I return from my vacation exhausted, sleep 23 hours, and sadly realize that I can't get my Christmas tree without help.

I was delighted and thankful to find two ladies who selected, transported and set up a tree for me. To honor my mom, who passed away last November, I wanted to purchase my Christmas tree from Swanson's Nursery.  Swansons was her favorite nursery, such a beautiful place.

My Christmas tree is the perfect tree.  It represents real life.  The curved trunk, uneven branches, the way it appears as if it might just topple over at any moment.  I checked, it is secured tightly to the stand. It will never look balanced and even.  My tree this year is not a calming tree. It symbolizes unexpectedness and awkwardess, sufferig and loss, yet displays beauty and joy.

My Christmas tree is telling me to stay alert.  It is also taking forever to decorate.  As I write this post I am yet to hang the ornaments I received after mom died.  The box is here, it is the last box of ornaments to hang.  

I will do that tomorrow and post a photo when I am done.

As we embrace these next few weeks of holiday joy, from all cultures and religions, I pray you find your spirit renewed.  I will be blogging soon with more Christmas cheer.....I hope.

Merry Christmas

Servivorgirl

 

Happy Thanksgiving

This day we give special thanks for all the goodness in our lives.  We think of those we love, those we've lost and those who are in need.  Even in our worst moments there is hope from God's love.  Never forget that you are loved.  God Bless you and your loved ones this Thanksgiving holiday.

Thank you God for this interesting and challenging life, and for all the love from my family and friends. 

Missing mom.  I love you mom.

Peace, Blessings and Love

Servivorgirl

The Holidays In Small Doses

Ladies, I am thinking about those of you who are on your first course, or any course, of intensive chemotherapy. This time of year is an exceptionally difficult time to be experiencing side effects from surgery and treatments.  

I had spent several hours drafting a lengthy and detailed post that I was hoping could assist you in preparing for Thanksgiving.  God had other plans.  It got deleted, poof!  It must have been too long, ha! 

Do as I do, they say.  Here is the abbreviated version.

Maintain the essance of the holidays with simplicity, in every way.  Truly, keep things simple.

Mimimize expectations.  Worry not about tradition and what people think.  Trust in the people who love you. Let people help you.

Your body, mind, emotions and spirit are in turmoil.  Simplicity will help you keep your feet on the ground.

If you are a woman of faith, ask for God's help.  Ask people to pray for you.

I sigh heavily remembering how overwhelming everything felt during that first course of treatment, still in severe pain from my debulking surgery.  Experiencing the holiday season in small doses is just easier. 

I did wonder about things like how many more holidays do I have with my loved ones.  That is normal, for the most part.  Spreading out the opportunities to be with the people you love may help deflect some of that worry in your heart. 

If there is only one major event to attend, an enormous amount of pressure exists to make the most out of THAT one thing.  Instead pencil in more options for smaller manageable events here and there. If by chance you are feeling beat up on the actual celebration day, your cup will still feel full.

Well, you know what I mean.      

As the old saying goes, don't place all your eggs in one basket.  

I just want to avail myself as a sounding board.  I love this time of year.  I am so thankful and grateful for my family, friends, doctors and to God that I am here.  What else can I say?

Hugs.

Peace and blessings,

Servivorgirl

World Vision.org and Medgift.com

Sometimes we feel like the wind gets knocked out of our sails. Yesterday was definitely one of those days.  I have been spending time preparing to honor my mom on Sunday, as it would be her birthday. November is a hard month now, the anniversary of mom's passing, mom's birthday and moving through Thanksgiving, her favorite holiday.

Lot's of grief this month.  When I saw Diem Brown had died from ovarian cancer I cried.  She was a truly spirited and cheerful warrior. My tears reflected so much loss in our family and the knowingnes of another fighter removing her gloves.

I miss my mom so much.  Sunday I will celebrate her birthday with prayer and fond memory, looking at photos.  I feel kind of crazy, but it comforts me to talk to her whilst adoring her photo.  Sometimes I just stroke the hair in mom's photo and tell her how much I love and miss her.  I tell her I am sorry for being such a bratty teenager, for not being nice all the time, for fighting with her on our trip to New Mexico, for not spending enough time with her, for being a total failure as far as career goes and for not using my brain like I should have.

I can go on and on.  I pray that she is the first angel I see in heaven one day.

I am exhausted from treatments and grief but look for colors and light throughout each day, as I have nothing to complain about. 

I am sharing two different things today that I hope will inspire you.

1.   Here is a link to an interview with Diem Brown about her heartfelt charity, Medgift.com.  A patient gift registry that eases the burden when sick and in need.

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1513484978001/reality-star-launches-patient-gift-registry/#sp=show-clips

2.  I have sponsored a child via World Vision who shares the same birthday as my mom.  This sweet child and her family are in great need and World Vision is one of only a few international charities trusted by mom.  World Vision also helps children in the United States.

I felt a little funny filtering by birthdate, but I did accept the very first child that came up in the search.  I wanted to sponsor all the kids, ya know what I mean?  

So one unique way to honor a loved ones's passing is to sponsor a child in need. It is very fulfilling and most of all provides tangible resources and goodnes that can offer hope to the suffering.

Here is a link to their site:  http://www.worldvision.org/m/sponsor-a-child/?campaign=1193512&gclid=Cj0KEQiAkJyjBRClorTki_7Zx8QBEiQAcqwGMdt1CQr3f-ohDZYMdx3qfWE8AQ3gSJWMYPAgETI0vtgaAgm_8P8HAQ

I Love You and Miss You...........

Peace and Blessings,

Servivorgirl

Rest In Peace Sweet Diem Brown

REST IN PEACE SWEET DIEM BROWN

Diem Brown Dies

Please select the link above for one of the many stories about this young woman's life.  Ovarian cancer may have claimed her body, but her spirit will live forever.

This news has broken many hearts today.

A star on earth is now a star in the heavens.

May we find a cure so no more women die.

When Susan Talks, People Listen

Those of us in the world of ovarian cancer can often feel that we are in a little bubble, off to the side, having a small voice in the big world of cancer.  We are reluctant participants, not all wanting to share our stories. When we do share, we do so in different ways.  Some keep their pain and suffering close, opening up only to close friends and family.  Some unveil their agony in the way of art, music and writing. Others reveal their angst in the way of talking and reaching out in person.

I know of one such angel that can comfortably speak about her ovarian cancer and her name is Susan Malman.  She is very outgoing, high spirited and courageous.  Her chummy personality has drawn many supportive people towards her.  She has stage 4 ovarian cancer, suffers greatly, yet creates the time and energy to go out into the world and have fun.  

Seriously, this chick loves to enjoy life.  She will find a way to go out to a concert, sing karaoke or meet her friends, all the while experiencing chemotherapy side effects.  Not much can keep her down.

When she is out and about she tells people about her cancer.  Susan puts herself out there because she wants to help other women to learn about what we know today to be common symptoms of ovarian cancer.  It makes a difference.

Susan literally helped to save one woman from being diagnosed at a late stage of ovarian cancer. Had Susan not taken time to express with passion the accounts of her life and struggles with ovarian cancer, one woman may have discovered her fate too late.  God Bless you Susan.

Here are Susan's humble words......

About a month ago I had chemo and went to the gas station up the street for some ice. The girl asked me what cancer do I have and I told her ovarian stage 4. She asked what are the systems. I told her and gave her a card with the sytems on it. She told me she has all the systems. I told her don't waste time, have certain test(s) done and insist on it.

She did. A month later, I saw her tonight. With a huge line, (she) came around the corner (she) gave me a big hug, and said "thank you because of your story and making me get checked they found I have the early stages of ovarian cancer. Now I am being treated".

So now I feel so good inside that after 3 years of fighting it I helped someone and saved their life.

St. Peregrine Pray For Us

I have prayed many times for the intercession of St. Peregrine, the Patron Saint for those ailing with cancer and other very serious illnesses.

It is exceptionally difficult to convey the depth of emotion, faith and hope in prayer via my little blog.

I have prayed to St. Peregrine for myself, for people that I love and for my cancer bearing sisters and brothers.  I believe.

One evening, after nine days of praying the Novena to St. Peregrine, I knew I was sent a message.  I was in a hospital and a physician, who went by the name of Dr. Peregrino, stepped on the elevator.  I knew his name only because a nurse called out to him just before he stepped inside. 

The doctor looked right into my eyes as if he knew me. This happened directly after receiving exciting news that someone I love did not have cancer after all, it was ruled out.  Because of the intense way this man looked at me, his name, and the feeling I had at right at that moment, I knew St. Peregrine had heard me.

A prayer to St. Peregrine

Dear St. Peregrine, I need your help. I feel so uncertain of my life right now. This serious illness makes me long for a sign of God’s love. Help me to imitate your enduring faith when you faced the challenge of cancer. Allow me to trust the Lord the way you did in this moment of distress. I want to be cured, but right now I ask God for the strength to bear the cross in my life. I seek the power to proclaim God’s presence in my life despite hardship, anguish, and fear I now experience. O glorious St. Peregrine, be an inspiration to me and petitioner of these needed graces from our loving father. 

Amen.

If you visit this website, you will see many more prayers to St. Peregrine and learn about his history.

Saint Peregrine .com

We need LOTS of prayers, especially with respect to the cost of chemotherapy.

I just read a very disturbing article on Times.com that Genentech is unnecessarily altering its distribution channels for Avastin and two other critical cancer medications, forcing the prices to go higher. This is a prime example as to why medical care must not operate via supply and demand frame of reference. 

Here is the link:  http://time.com/3541484/cancer-drug-price-hikes/

Peace and blessings,

Servivorgirl

Ovariancancer101.org, What A Wonderful Group

Now back to the core of the reason I started this blog, to raise awareness for ovarian cancer.  I want to introduce you to an organization started by a womderful woman who sadly lost her mom to late stage ovarian cancer.  How it was discovered will shock you.

Ovarian cancer is very tricky indeed.  Scary tricky.  Please visit this site to learn about her history and also about a beautiful treasure being promoted to raise funds.  I personally do not raise money, but periodically will write about others who do.

This Christmas tree comes with gifts!


Decorated-Christmas-Tree-And-All-The-Presents-Current-Value-$7-400-Drawing-To-Be-Held-Saturday-December-13th-@7-45pm-Tree-shown-is-our-2013-tree/p/29213750/category=0


I would love to have a beautifully decorated Teal Christmas tree in my apartment this year.  Time to buy a ticket.

Please visit  Ovarian Cancer 101.org for more information.

My next post will be about one of my favorite Saints,  Saint Peregrine.

Peace and Blessings,
Servivorgirl

Ebola Protocol Manual

chttp://www.voanews.com/content/ebola-september-3/2436904.html


If you are reading this post in real time you are probably aware that most hospitals in the United States are not prepared to properly treat patients with Ebola virus and congruently keep healthcare workers safe.

I cannot imagine why this is a problem.  We have had plenty of warning and there are links that provide detailed protocol on how to meticulously protect both the patient, other patients and anyone who comes into contact with the patient and patient fluids.

Here is a very detailed link that is designed for healthcare administrators to understand fully the scale of supplies, type of personal protective equipment and how to donn and doff the equipment.

Although this is written for field hospitals, our US based hospitals need to follow the core elements exaxtly as written.  It seems to me that training would be based on this kind of manual.  

That nurses and other employees at the hospital in Dallas did not have this information as part of a required training is criminal.

This link advises on two pairs of gloves!  Head to toe coverage and a separate changing area.  It is 209 pages.  There is no excuse for any hospital administrator's lack of preparedness.

We as individuals also need to take personal responsibility as well.  No matter what the situation, we must at all times be aware of personal risk and safety, either as a patient or caregiver.  We need to speak up right away and if nobody is listening, keep talking until someon does. It can literally be a matter of life or death.

People with cancer just need to be minful that it is beneficial to us to always keep protective gear on hand, especially when travelling.  Items such as masks and gloves are very important because we cannot predict when or where we will encounter a situation wherein someone else is sick.  Keep these supplies in a sealed bag, such as a ziplock bag, along with alcohol swabs and antibacterial gel.

CDC Manual     The Pdf link is at the bottom.

I hope someone finds this manual useful, as it is very thorough.

Peace and blessings,
Servivorgirl

The Male Side Of Breast Cancer

The colors on the wheel go round and round......round and round......round and round.

Before I begin my posts for October I want to thank "Curves" of Crown Hill, in Seattle Washington.  The owner of this franchise graciously allowed me to bring in gynecological awareness handouts created by the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance.  "Curves" was hosting an open house and I had some table time with many members while distributing valuable information about gynecological cancer awareness, and my story with ovarian cancer.

We utilized the information found on the CDC "Inside Knowledge" Campaign and I am pleased to report that many women stated that this information was very helpful.  This way they not only learned about ovarian cancer, but all the major potential symptoms of gynecological cancers.

I was pleased to do this and hopefullly a few more women will be able to work more effectively with their physicians, should they have a concern in the future.  It also brought to the surface an opportunity for several women to talk about either their own or another's battle with some form of cancer.  

Thank you "Curves".  I also decided to become a member.  The program is not hard on my smaller joints (currently in a bit of trouble due to RA) and I really need the extra support.  I am finding this program comfortable, adaptable and most of all, FUN!  I will post progress, if it's good.  Ha!

Now to Men's Breast Health:

To start October off I thought it would be important to incorporate some information about hereditary breast cancer, in men.  My search landed me on a very thorough and educational article written in Medical News Today. 

Men are not likely to see themselves as potential breast cancer patients.  They can and do get breast cancer.  We can see that men all over the country do support this cause. Most men probably never considered that wearing pink can help them too.  Please share......

Quote from Medical News Today....

'It is vital for everyone to be breast aware'

"Women are encouraged to frequently check their breasts for any abnormalities, such as lumps, discharge from the nipple or changes in appearance or texture. And although many men may not be aware of it, they should do the same.

The most common signs of breast cancer in men are lumps or swelling in the breast or lymph node areas, dimpling or puckering of the skin, nipple retraction, nipple discharge and scaling or redness of the nipple or surrounding skin."

Whiteman, H. (2014, October 1). "Breast cancer: are men the forgotten victims?." Medical News Today. Retrieved from
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/283317.php.

Peace and blessings,

Servivorgirl