I saw Dr. Gray today. It was so nice to see her, she was very encouraging. My CA125 is 8, which is really good. Her exam revealed no concerns. I told her I was still foggy and got tired easy, but was doing better. We spoke again about possible recurrence and reviewed the symptoms. Again, with ovarian cancer, it's all about subtle changes.
She was so kind in trying to speak with me realistically about recurrence, saying that for a group of women, there is no recurrence. There is no way to predict for me if I will fall in or out of that group. So I need to continue to take life day by day, and use each 3 month check-up as a mini-milestone of progress.
She encouraged me to try to be as active as possible and if it felt right, join a support group like Gilda's Club. She is right. I just haven't had the energy to join a group yet, but it's getting time. Especially since this first year or so after chemo is so uncertain.
When I came home I was just so extremely exhausted. I think emotionally it drains me to confront my situation. I don't dwell on it, but it lingers every day, like stagnant air, suffocating at times.
On other days I feel so happy and excited, I have a second chance. So I exist rolling up and down these hilly trails each day striving to make a difference.
I pray for God to continue to lead me in the right direction, making my eyes and ears sensitive to His calls so that I may serve.
I felt better after my nap today. Sleep always helps me.
On to tomorrow and a fresh start once again. I have a wonderful oncologist and am so grateful for her.
Be Love
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