A Thanksgiving With Mom

As I turned the corner around the edge of the market, I was shocked into real time with the overwhelmingly refreshing scent of pine today.  Just earlier my kitty cat looked somberly at me while I tried to eat cereal (sore throat) and I had to go get her some food.  I was so tired.  I brushed my teeth, threw on a coat and braved the Seattle windstorm to cross the parking lot for the store.

I was in a daze, feeling bad  and sluggish from having slept for 15 hours straight. I had intended to go visit mom today, but that was just not in the cards for me today.  It was better for me to stay away and not get my mom sick or anyone else sick.

I exited my building via a stairwell that opens directly onto a little shopping mall and almost walked straight into a giant silver star Christmas decoration.  I shook my head because I literally forgot that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner.  Fuzzy and feeling cold, walking with my head down, I dragged myself across the parking lot.  I was shocked again when I saw all the Christmas trees in front of the store.

It was sort of surreal because a few hours earlier a loud boom of thunder literally blasted me out of bed.  I had been sleeping like a rock.  Scared the be-jeebers out of me.  My sense of time is just "off".  I was not expecting trees, but am so glad they were there.  I had to stop for a moment and inhale the fresh scent and start imagining good times to come.  All I could think about was that I wanted to take a tree to mom's house.

Time is moving too fast.  I had wanted to savor this holiday season.  A little music here, a  "Halllmark" movie there, a new memory every day.  It's gonna go fast, I can tell.

Mom is slowly recovering from this last episode.  Inch by inch, minute by minute, drop by drop she clings to hope that she can return to the life she has enjoyed.  My sweet sister has lost so much time with her own family, but we are making it.  Together we are helping each other to help our mom reclaim her life.

Mom is so darn "lucky". I told her she had an angel.  She laughed and said  "not forever".  We literally almost lost her a few weeks ago.  It takes a lot of work to live, we find this out every day.  All the hustle and bustle, going here and going there, for what?  Each tender moment of happiness I relish right now.  I have lost my sense of time,  have no desire for mindless and irrelevant activities.

The photo above gives me comfort.  This is the mom I remember more than anything, sitting at the kitchen counter.  Upon this spot she would talk, write, sketch, paint, cook and raise us.  This was her home within the home.  It was just the best place in our house.  We could sit on the bar stools and look into the kitchen and talk with mom while she was doing whatever she was doing.  She liked to lean onto the counter and peek out into the living room. Sometimes I did my homework there and she would watch me.

This spot is where she had her quiet time, her reading time, her resting time.

The look on her face is a mixture of content and ever so slight irritation.  She does not like having her picture taken, ha.  I can't tell ya how many times she has hollered for me to 'put the camera away".  Makes me laugh.  She is so pretty..........

In two days we will be celebrating a day of Thanks, and it will not be the usual holiday for us.  Thanksgiving is mom's favorite holiday.  She loves it so much.  She used to throw one heck of a holiday bash I tell ya.

We had dozens of people over, she would make breads and stuffing and roast a fabulous turkey.  Relatives would bring over everything else.  Mom would even slow cook a pot roast, our mom's mom's favorite meal.

Us kids would play and laugh and have fun with the relatives.  I used to love to sit in the corner and just listen to the chatter. That is still one of my favorite things to do, listen to other people having fun.  Mom likes to do that too.

If you are celebrating a Thanksgiving with lot's of family and friends, not to tell ya what to do, but relish this time.  Savor it with all your heart because those moments may not come again.

We don't have those kinds of Thanksgivings anymore.   We are grown up, people live in different states and cities, and it's just not the same.  My thanks is that mom is here!

I am most grateful and give thanks to God for the gift of life, the LIFE of all those whom I love, my family and friends, and those who have been there all this time to help in a time of need.  I pray for those who are suffering, who have no home, no family, no person with whom to celebrate this holiday.  For maybe our celebration is different, but that is no loss.  For we have each other, we have shelter, we have food.  We are Blessed.

May you have a Blessed Thanksgiving Day.

Love,
Denise

Auction with Drs Goff and Muntz Dec 01, 2012 for Ovarian Cancer in Seattle Washington

Click above for more details.Register to Attend the Event Here

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Welcome to the Ovarian & Breast Cancer Alliance Auction Website!

Please join us!

 

Ovarian Cancer Awareness Dinner & Auction

 

  Saturday, December 1, 2012, 5:00 PM

    The UW Center for Urban Horticulture

3501 NE 41st Street, Seattle, WA 98195

$75 per person

 

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Step 1:  Click on "Sign In" above and scroll down to "Create New Record" to fill in your information.   
  

Step 2:  Click here to Register  

 
We look forward to seeing you on December 1st!

 
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"One Tough Cookie"

As my mom lay there after her heart surgery, I told her that I had a new nick name for her, "One Tough cookie".  She says, "oh ya?  I like that one".  She then smiled and closed her eyes.

It has been a heck of a week.  Our family is deeply concerned for mom as she is in hospital, from a heart attack and complications from diabetes and kidney disease, among other things.  I had called her home one evening, no answer. I waited and called again, no answer.  I went over and heard her sort of talking and she did not respond to the knock on the door.  I went in and found her in need of urgent care.  This was so scary and I thank God for the whispers telling me to call her.

I was coming back from Gig Harbor after a visit with my friend Joe.  He invited me up for a daytime retreat, to honor Heidi, his sweet beloved Heidi.  He was so generous.  He took me on a nice kayak ride in the cove and a short little hike on Heidi's trail.  We talked about cancer, life, suffering and God.  It was a Sunday.  The previous day I was able to attend mass, and I was feeling so grateful for life, the breath of air, the ability to exist.

As I approached the Seattle area, and the exit to take to mom's house, I felt a strong pull to call her house.  I knew something was up, but not what.  I exited I-5, and called her.  I got lost, of course, and eventually found my way to her neighborhood.  I called again before knocking on the door, because it was already dark and did not want to scare her.  I was hoping that she would call out to me "is that you?"

No call out to me.  My mom has been through so much, it's just indescribable how much work she puts into living each day.  Every task requires an extensive amount of energy and dedication, and she does it.  She fights her way through each necessary task. She so wants to be free from all this suffering.

She has such an amazing core group of medical professionals, she really does.  When she is in the hospital though, because she has such a complicated body, someone from the family needs to be there.  My sister and I rotate shifts.

I had my chemo yesterday and cannot go today or tonight.  My sister has a family of her own.  Mom's family loves her so much, but there aren't enough of us here when these things happen.  My sister and I need to take care of ourselves too, so that we can do what is needed.

Mom has had such an amazing attitude, offering smiles and little laughs as she copes with the cascading consequences of this ordeal.  Her doctors are working to resolve all the issues so that she can get stabilized. She misses her home, her window to the neighborhood, her neighbors.

We spent election night together, in ICU.  I smiled and told her Obama won, and she said, "That's the right thing, good, good, good."

So now I am praying as much as possible for her recovery and for the well being of my sister.  For our loving neighbor who is helping with the house.  Mom has the best neighbors in the world.  She really does.

I will now get back to resting, per the strong recommendation from my sister.  I just wanted to share with you that we love our mom and hope that her courage and desire for life inspires you to keep on living a life of love.  Offer to your neighbor a strong smile, and you will receive the same.

Love,
Denise

PS.  My tumor markers are slowly improving, yay.  I am so fortunate that I will also receive an extra dose of IV emend later this week to address the extreme abdominal pain and nausea.  Last time I was totally incapacitated a week out from chemo, and had hellish nightmares.  Do not want a repeat of that, need to be there for mom and keep working too.  Love you.

Mother Nature Keeps Us Grounded

                    http://abcnews.go.com/US/slideshow/superstorm-sandy-pummels-east-coast-17561482

Coney Island ca .1912

Coney Island before Hurricane Sandy 

Coney Island after Hurricane Sandy Oct 30, 2102

Deep Sea diving in the New York Subway, as a result of Hurricane Sandy  

(Please click each photo to view source web pages for each photo)

Sandy caused massive devastation along the Atlantic and New England shoreline yesterday.  As of now I read that at least 50 lives have been lost so far.  It is uncertain how many thousands of people have suffered a total loss of property and the countless business and industry losses are yet to be known.  Atlantic City's famous "Boardwalk" is gone.  The shoreline has literally been relocated.  New York's subway system is under water.  Hundreds of homes were burned in a town called "Breezy Point" in Queens, New York.  

A large crane atop a NY condominium building under construction literally collapsed.  It is perched up high, dangling off from the side, waiting to fall.

I hope that those who have experienced trauma and loss due to this horrendous storm can find comfort in the thoughts and prayers of the nation and the world. 

Hurricane Sandy broke all time records in terms of storm surge and hurricane strength for that region, leaving everyone stunned and frozen.  

I have seen reports on television of people expressing not only grief from the actual physical loss of Coney Island or Atlantic City, but the memories that now can no longer be recreated. This seems to be stinging the hearts of so many.  

I personally have never been there, but feel this loss anyway, because we are a community. 

Why do I write about this on my cancer blog.  Because, like mother nature, our bodies get ravaged by devastating storms, storms that kill or forever 

change our body's landscape.  We too must rebuild. 

New memories will be created one day.  

One prayer, one brick, one hammer, and one nail at a time.  

Praying for the survivors of Sandy.

"ReGifting Lions" Helping Those Who Have Suffered Trauma

I am so incredibly impressed with "ReGifting Lions"  Please go to their website at http://www.regiftinglions.info/index.html to learn more about how they help all who suffer from a trauma. Below is a radio interview, compliments of NPR, as well as a video link from the "ReGifting Lions" website.

"Regifting Lions"

A stage image from "Regifting Lions" - Photo: Lynn Lane

October 23, 2012

Photographer Lynn Lane and choreographer Toni Leago Valle preview the new dance piece they have created in collaboration with performer Catalina Molnari. Regifting Lions looks at survivors--the people who must find a way to live after trauma.

Lynn Lane and Toni Leago Valle talk with Catherine Lu.

http://www.thefrontrow.org/articles/1351016528-Regifting-Lions.html

Cancer patients will be safe with Obama

The Affordable Care Act was passed by Congress and then signed into law by the President on March 23, 2010.
On June 28, 2012 the Supreme Court rendered a final decision to uphold the health care law.

 In 2013

IMPROVING QUALITY AND LOWERING COSTS

• Improving Preventive Health Coverage. To expand the number of Americans receiving preventive care, the law provides new funding to state Medicaid programs that choose to cover preventive services for patients at little or no cost. Effective January 1, 2013. Learn more about the law and preventive care.
• Expanding Authority to Bundle Payments. The law establishes a national pilot program to encourage hospitals, doctors, and other providers to work together to improve the coordination and quality of patient care.  Under payment “bundling,” hospitals, doctors, and providers are paid a flat rate for an episode of care rather than the current fragmented system where each service or test or bundles of items or services are billed separately to Medicare.  For example, instead of a surgical procedure generating multiple claims from multiple providers, the entire team is compensated with a “bundled” payment that provides incentives to deliver health care services more efficiently while maintaining or improving quality of care.  It aligns the incentives of those delivering care, and savings are shared between providers and the Medicare program. Effective no later than January 1, 2013.

INCREASING ACCESS TO AFFORDABLE CARE

• Increasing Medicaid Payments for Primary Care Doctors. As Medicaid programs and providers prepare to cover more patients in 2014, the Act requires states to pay primary care physicians no less than 100% of Medicare payment rates in 2013 and 2014 for primary care services. The increase is fully funded by the federal government. Effective January 1, 2013. Learn how the law supports and strengthens primary care providers.
• Providing Additional Funding for the Children’s Health Insurance Program. Under the law, states will receive two more years of funding to continue coverage for children not eligible for Medicaid. Effective October 1, 2013. Learn more about CHIP.

In 2014

NEW CONSUMER PROTECTIONS

• Prohibiting Discrimination Due to Pre-Existing Conditions or Gender. The law implements strong reforms that prohibit insurance companies from refusing to sell coverage or renew policies because of an individual’s pre-existing conditions. Also, in the individual and small group market, the law eliminates the ability of insurance companies to charge higher rates due to gender or health status. Effective January 1, 2014. Learn more about protecting Americans with pre-existing conditions.
• Eliminating Annual Limits on Insurance Coverage. The law prohibits new plans and existing group plans from imposing annual dollar limits on the amount of coverage an individual may receive. Effective January 1, 2014. Learn how the law will phase out annual limits by 2014.
• Ensuring Coverage for Individuals Participating in Clinical Trials. Insurers will be prohibited from dropping or limiting coverage because an individual chooses to participate in a clinical trial.  Applies to all clinical trials that treat cancer or other life-threatening diseases. Effective January 1, 2014. 

IMPROVING QUALITY AND LOWERING COSTS

• Making Care More Affordable. Tax credits to make it easier for the middle class to afford insurance will become available for people with income between 100% and 400% of the poverty line who are not eligible for other affordable coverage. (In 2010, 400% of the poverty line comes out to about $43,000 for an individual or $88,000 for a family of four.) The tax credit is advanceable, so it can lower your premium payments each month, rather than making you wait for tax time. It’s also refundable, so even moderate-income families can receive the full benefit of the credit. These individuals may also qualify for reduced cost-sharing (copayments, co-insurance, and deductibles). Effective January 1, 2014. Learn how the law will make care more affordable in 2014.
• Establishing Affordable Insurance Exchanges. Starting in 2014 if your employer doesn’t offer insurance, you will be able to buy it directly in an Affordable Insurance Exchange.  An Exchange is a new transparent and competitive insurance marketplace where individuals and small businesses can buy affordable and qualified health benefit plans.  Exchanges will offer you a choice of health plans that meet certain benefits and cost standards.  Starting in 2014, Members of Congress will be getting their health care insurance through Exchanges, and you will be able buy your insurance through Exchanges too. Effective January 1, 2014. Learn more about Exchanges.
• 
• Increasing the Small Business Tax Credit. The law implements the second phase of the small business tax credit for qualified small businesses and small non-profit organizations. In this phase, the credit is up to 50% of the employer’s contribution to provide health insurance for employees.  There is also up to a 35% credit for small non-profit organizations.  Effective January 1, 2014. Learn more about the small business tax credit.

INCREASING ACCESS TO AFFORDABLE CARE

• Increasing Access to Medicaid. Americans who earn less than 133% of the poverty level (approximately $14,000 for an individual and $29,000 for a family of four) will be eligible to enroll in Medicaid. States will receive 100% federal funding for the first three years to support this expanded coverage, phasing to 90% federal funding in subsequent years. Effective January 1, 2014. Learn more about Medicaid.
• Promoting Individual Responsibility. Under the law, most individuals who can afford it will be required to obtain basic health insurance coverage or pay a fee to help offset the costs of caring for uninsured Americans.  If affordable coverage is not available to an individual, he or she will be eligible for an exemption. Effective January 1, 2014. Learn more about individual responsibility and the law.

In 2015

IMPROVING QUALITY AND LOWERING COSTS

• Paying Physicians Based on Value Not Volume. A new provision will tie physician payments to the quality of care they provide. Physicians will see their payments modified so that those who provide higher value care will receive higher payments than those who provide lower quality care. Effective January 1, 2015. 

www.healthcare.gov/law/full/index.html

If that doesn't give you pause, maybe this will..........

By MICHELLE CASTILLO / CBS NEWS/ October 2, 2012, 2:53 PM

Study: Romney health care plan to leave 72M uninsured

The percentage of uninsured people without either act by 2022. / THE COMMONWEALTH FUND

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A new study released by the private foundation, The Commonwealth Fund, has revealed that 72 million Americans would be uninsured by 2022 if Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney wins the election and has his health care plan enacted. That compares to 27 million uninsured by the same time if President Barack Obama's Affordable Health Care Act (ACA) was kept in place with his reelection.

"There are stark differences between what each candidate has proposed for our health care system, and this report shines a light on how Americans might be affected, based on their age, their income, and where they live," the report's lead author Sara Collins, vice president for affordable health insurance at the Commonwealth Fund said to CNN. "The report finds that repealing the ACA would significantly increase the number of Americans without health insurance, limiting their ability to get the health care they need and exposing them to burdensome medical bills and debt."

The analysis was conducted by economist Jonathan Gruber, who advised the policymakers who wrote the ACA.

Currently, the government says there are more than 48 million Americans -- about 16 percent of the population -- without health insurance.

The percentage of uninsured people with President Barack Obama's Affordable Health Care Act by 2022.

 /THE COMMONWEALTH FUND

While some of President Barack Obama's ACA has already been implemented -- such as free preventive women's health care, allowing children 26 and younger to be covered by their parent's plans and not allowing insurance companies to deny people with pre-existing conditions -- many of the proposed changes will not be enforced until 2014. These include implementing near-universal health care coverage, with steps like expanding Medicaid health insurance plans to cover more low income people and organizing state-regulated plans that people can choose from.

State plans would all have to fit regulations set by the federal government, which has also set goals of including free annual wellness exams and getting rid of the prescription drug benefit's "donut hole" -- or gap between the initial coverage limit and the upper limit set by the federal government. In general, they are high-deductible insurance plans, which means low premiums but higher deductibles in case of an accident.

The Commonwealth Fund, which has supported the ACA, said that if all the intended changes were made, 23 million more Americans would get insurance.

However, in comparison, The Commonwealth Fund's analysis showed that 12 million fewer Americans would receive health insurance under Romney's plan compared with current rates. Romney has pledged to repeal the ACA and implement his own changes, which he believes will encourage more private insurance incentives (instead of state-decided plans) and give the individual more say in choosing a plan that is right for them. For example, those who wouldn't seek preventive women's health care wouldn't pay for those services under his plan.

The study also found that Romney's plan would cost Americans more money. People who choose to buy health insurance on their own would pay 14 percent of their income, compared to only 9 percent under the ACA, The Commonwealth Fund stated. The Congressional Budget Office and the Joint Committee on Taxation added that repealing the ACA would cost a federal budget deficit of $109 billion between 2013 and 2022.

The Romney campaign argued the fund's study results were false.

"The Commonwealth study sadly contributes little to the health reform conversation that this country deserves," Romney spokeswoman Andrea Saul toldTPM. "It badly mistakes Governor Romney's proposals. Worse, it assumes a fantasy world where Obamacare has been a success. Instead, Americans have seen their insurance premiums increase, small businesses are facing massive tax increases, and seniors will have reduced access to Medicare services. The simple truth is this: The American people do not want this law, we cannot afford this law, and when Mitt Romney is President he will repeal it and replace it with common-sense, patient-centered reforms that strengthen our health care system."

The percentage of uninsured people with Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's health care plan by 2022.

/ THE COMMONWEALTH FUND

Though Romney hasn't provided exact details, he has laid out a broad framework for his health care proposal. Instead of opting for state-selected plans, the consumer would choose which private company they wanted to be insured by based on their needs. He or she would pay for that plan from funds from a personal health savings account (HSA) and be aided by tax breaks. Employers would deposit money into the HSAs, and the employee would choose the health care company.

Proponents of the HSA plan argue it will give Americans more choice.

"Health savings accounts empower the consumer in all aspects of health care decision making," Alabama Governor Robert Bentley said in a statement to the Associated Press explaining why he rejected the "essential health benefits" plan under the ACA on Oct. 1.

Bentley, a physician, added that having the federal government mandate what states should provide restricts people to picking plans that may not fit their needs.

"The Affordable Care Act includes many provisions, all supposedly geared toward making health insurance affordable, yet it does not include any significant mention of health savings accounts. I contend that the law does not make health insurance affordable and negatively affects consumer choice," he added.

Romney's plans would still allow for ACA provisions such free annual wellness exams and getting rid of the prescription drug benefit's donut hole and, theoretically, would push people towards high-deductible insurance plans. However, instead of being mandated by the federal government to include these benefits, consumers can choose to go with a company that includes these provisions. That way people will only pay for what they want coverage for.

"Healthcare is the only service in the United States that you buy and use without knowing what the price is," Dr. Scott Atlas, a Romney adviser with Stanford University's Hoover Institution, told Reuters. "If you're paying out of a health savings account, you actually see the bill. It really does reduce prices."

Critics, however, argue that those plans would not help people who have prolonged illnesses because they would spend their allotted health care funds faster and be forced to pay for care out of pocket.

Medicaid block grants would allow states to dole out the funds to the groups who they think need it the most, rather than try to add coverage for a federally-set amount of people.

Romney has argued that the ACA will increase costs for consumers, who already pay an average of $15,734 per hospital stay and spend 17.4 percent of the GDP on health care costs, NBCNews.com pointed out. For comparison, Romney's old health care plan he enacted in Massachusetts, the basis for the ACA, did increase costs while making sure that 98 percent of the population was insured. But, Romney has since claimed that while the plan worked for Massachusetts, it shouldn't become a federal mandate, and states and individuals should have more choice in choosing their health care.

The Commonwealth Fund isn't the first group to criticize Romney's plan. Families USA released a report stating that Romney's plan would cost families 92 percent more than the ACA by 2016.

© 2012 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.

"Here" by Kari Jobe

For my sweet friend Barb who lost her father last week.

The ticket nobody ever wants to get

I'm not sure if it is because Halloween is coming or that I'm on chemo, but the nightmares were relentless over the past 48 hours.  I completely missed yesterday because I was so sick, thank God my sister could come over this afternoon and bring me some soup, and a few little meals for the cat.  When she arrived I could barely stand up straight.

It all began Friday night with nightmares from hell, and I say that most literally.  My dream, in techno-color, started off with a ghoulish man offering me a ticket to hell.  He smiled at me and said it would be perfect for me, that I would be  happy and that I will get to be there forever.  I don't remember accepting the ticket, but I found myself in what would otherwise be a musty moldy dirty sorority house. Lined up along the wall with other recruits, we were taken in small groups to our headquarters.  I was to stay in this extra large master suite, which off to one side had a maternity room and off to the other was someone's master bedroom.  It was a beautiful setting.  The finest marble, linens, and one tiny bottle of perfume on the bathroom sink.  

I know we were all ghosts, and that this room had tragedy written all over it.  Now I remember that there was a reverend n the main hall of the sorority house of ghoul, and he wanted me to pray.  He demanded that I pray some prayer sends people to hell, and I refused.  I started say "Our Father Who art in Heaven...." and he stormed fuming mad and yelled "Happy Easter".

One of the recruits had been sanctioned to remain in what would later become known to me as a crib, but at first I just thought she was to big for the bed.  She was literally stuck in the crib and said that she was never going to get out of if, no way to repair the damage.  I felt scared.  There were four other ladies who had to share the space in this master suite, and we did not get along.  The rules were that we had to attend daily classes and when not in class we were to be in our suite.  But the suite was cluttered with furniture, but no extra beds.  I of course missed my ride to class and begged for one of the other ladies to take me, which she did but it came at a price.  The drive was scary to and fro, and when I was in the residence, I became the target of ridicule.  For example, I had asked for make up advice, and my enemy gave me this deep magenta lipstick.  I had said I wanted something off color or unique and she turned that into "unattractive" and the lipstick was designed in such a way that it never stayed on the line you created, so my face was always messy.

At night I would fly with a group of other ticket holders and we would chase down innocent people walking in the street.  It was absolutely frightening, they would look back up towards me and scream, and I would just chase them.  This scenario ended with one of the male ghouls wanting for me to be his bride and I think my brain blew a gasket and I found myself in another nightmare.

I was in transition, moving from one house to another.  I could not afford where I was living and my room mates did not want a sick room mate (in this dream I have cancer).  So I was forced to find something else.  Well, an unbelievable flat became available in a bad part of town, but the flat was not what it was represented to be.  I had read or had been told that I would have my own kitchen, bath, living space and bedroom.  

So I grabbed a few things to get ready for one night there, forgot food and coffee, but brought basics and some clothes.  The layout was open, lots of metal and glass in the interior design,  Pretty layout, with two floors, and one big pane window that looked to the Denver skyline.  It was raining like crazy.  I was getting comfortable when all of a sudden another family came into the space and started setting up shop in the kitchen.  I went in and said that this was my place and the husband said "no it's not".  He pointed down some rickety stairs and said that downstairs was my area.  

I went downstairs and the walls were unfinished, drywall on one side, dust, nails. no running water, no kitchen, no restroom, nothing.  Just concrete and unfinished work.

So I went upstairs to argue with them and begged them to let me stay on the main floor.  They eventually agreed.  It's at this point in my dreaming that I started to get nauseous, and I wonder if that is when my actual nausea set in.  (It's still Friday night).  So as they finished their dinner, they said their peace and went downstairs.  I suddenly started to panic because I could feel myself getting sick, and I had no food.  

It was now dark, raining heavily, and I had no idea where a store would be.  I rummaged through the cabinets only to find instant Folgers and those little creamers you find at an all night diner.

I must have been stuck looking for food for a while.  I did take a shower only to discover that the shower was a public shower, and one of the guys saw me.  Creepy.

So in real life on Saturday morning I woke up with a severe beyond horrible headache, nausea, sweats, chills, and abdominal pain.  I managed to call work to take some sick time, hoping I would be better for my second shift.  I took a compazine, and a zofran and other things to calm my stomach.  Called my mommy because when I feel like that I want my mommy.  I was so  sick.  My nightmares continued, resuming the ticket to hell dream, of course, and I woke up around 5 (?????)  I don't remember but had to call work again because I couldn't hardly stand.  

I managed another zofran and some water and back to bed I went.

My lovely adorable kitty cat stayed with me the whole time.  My sweet sister came over on Sunday afternoon with soup and cat food.

I have more nightmares to share but am too tired to type any more.(Grandma making me give penance about a car accident that I didn't start, but could have triggered, in the snow) and wild dogs....

The best part that has saved me Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night through all this sleeping has been my sweet little kitty cat Marilyn.  She does not leave my side.

I think when I get chemo, the anti-emetics given via IV during chemo just stop working suddenly.  I had a lot of nausea last time, that hit me several days after the treatment.   Thank goodness she came over because I could barely walk.

I am getting ready to have a bit more soup and go to bed, but wanted to share this because I am praying I am never offered a ticket to hell.  Purgatory is a grace, and I will gladly go there to cleanse myself of my sins, but not wanting hell.  No way........I wonder what these nightmares mean?

To better days?

Something Special for your Heart and Eyes

My muse and champion is continuing along her journey with art.  I have two of her beautiful works in my living room, and each piece tells a story of courage and hope.  

She simply does not just paint, she converses with you about important times in our history.  

She has a unique talent and eye for creating optimal emotion in her works.  

If you go to her blog, you can read the stories behind each piece. 

Mandy was and is one of my earthly angels.  Her works make me happy.

They will make you happy too and she is having a special sale now.  

Below you can read about Mandy of Weathered Silo

I am a self-taught artist with a passion for objects timeworn and uncovering what lies beneath. I sketch, paint, and occasionally sew. My studio name pays tribute to my great-grandparents and their parents who homesteaded in the early 1900s on the prairies of Kansas, Colorado, and New Mexico.

 photo via Shorpy

Don't you just love this photograph?! Those faces, those clothes! I think its the perfect image to announce my 40% off sale.

Why am I having this HUGE SALE? Because I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who's hung in there and supported my work along the way. I'm definitely still creating art, it's just that I'm in a slow period since I am helping my mom through some serious health issues. My energies have also been focused on settling into the new school year, new school community, and part-time work. Thank you for not giving up on me!
  

For one week only everything my Etsy shop will be 40% off. Just be sure to enter the coupon code THANKYOU40 at checkout to receive your discount. Sale ends midnight Pacific time Friday, October 19th. Happy shopping!