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Monday, March 05, 2012

Cancer is in love with me I guess, it just won't stay away

Please forgive me everyone, but my Cause page to turn Facebook Teal in September is missing from the blog.  The widget is fidgety, I guess.  It will be back soon.

The real reason I am posting is that I will start chemo again on March 12th.  As some of you may know, I had a PET scan on Valentine's Day.  That same day my dear mom had a mild heart attack, and thanks be to God, she is home now and recovering.  sigh

I have been "offline" most of the time since then, I mean, we all pulled together. What an extraordinary ordeal for her, that is a whole other post.  I am so proud of mom and she is here.  I am so happy, we all are.

Well, my gynecology oncologist wanted to see me earlier than this past Friday, but they said I could wait a little because of the urgent matters at hand.

On Friday, it was confirmed that there are three active tumors in my pelvic area.  I have no idea if the fatigue I have been experiencing is a symptom, but it was the first time around.

What is weird, and also good, is that this recurrence comes almost 2 years to the day from the completion of my first series of chemo treatments.  I got 2 years, yay.

The tumors are small though, but are growing and need to be eradicated.  Surgery is not really a good option, because there may be other tiny specs waiting to sprout.  I'm sort of numb and hopeful at the same time.

I think I mentioned beforehand that I am allergic to carboplatin.  Well, the best drug option for me is carboplatin.

I will receive carbo in a desensitized treatment protocol, in the hospital overnight, once per month.  This will last for six months.

I still have lingering chronic side effects from the first go-around, but I think I can handle this.  That is, as long as I don't have a serious allergic reaction.  If I do have a reaction, then the game will change and I don't want to talk about that.  New toxic drug that I may not tolerate either.........naaaa, save that for later.

I have so much faith in my doctor and my treatment team.  I will pry still be able to work part time, I pray.  I need that to pay rent..........so I have to work.

So life keeps moving forward, up then down, out then in, back then forward, and around and around it goes.  This is life for women with ovarian cancer.  This is why raising awareness is so so so so so so so important.  Ovarian cancer sneaks up on you and turns on some kind of chain saw to scare the heck out of you.  You make it through, but it's always hiding in the bushes or around the corner.  For those with advanced stage ovarian cancer, our lives are in a constant flux of chemo/surgery-NED(no evidence of disease)-chemo/surgery-etc and there are no good options other than prayer, supportive people, access to resources, finding really good treatment, and asking God for more days.

So my oncologist says she is very hopeful and confident that I will get another remission.  I believe her and will just accept that to be the case.  The next 6 months are jaunt off on a rocky side road.

I love you all..............will post more on finishing my trial for WALC study too.   Just wrapped that up this weekend.

Most importantly, my mom made it through her horrific ordeal in the hospital and is on the way to recovery. Just one more angioplasty to go..........

Our family is a good family......we just pull together and do what we need to do................

Peace and Blessings to each of you.........


4 comments:

  1. We are behind you all the way dear Denise!

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  2. I am so sorry the cancer is back. Stay strong knowing that you are in our prayers.
    God bless.
    Karen (www.outshineovariancancer.com)

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  3. Hi Survivorgirl, I'm new to your blog, but I just wanted to write to say that I really enjoy your posts. I'm in remission right now, but you're right about ovarian cancer, it feels as if it's always hiding in the bushes or right around the corner. I'm not sure what normal is anymore. I think you're right, awareness is key, and also talking with other women with ovarian cancer! Blogs like yours and even sites like http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-can are so helpful. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts :)

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  4. Joe, Karen and Cheryl, and all my readers......Thank you so much for your loyalty and support. Getting a bit nervous about Monday, but will be fine. Love, Denise

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Thank you for giving to me your precious time. I look forward to what you have to say. Peace and Blessings, Always.