Hello all from Seattle. Rainy and cold, per usual for this time of year. Have any of you ever been so overwhelmed that you felt suicidal? I don't feel suicidal, but one of my online support groups has a member who knows someone who is, and she has cancer, and it's in remission ( per discussion). This situation was very upsetting to some peope in the group, and I don't think the suicidal person should be attacked.
How do you feel about a cancer patient being suicidal? Do you feel compassion? Do you feel anger towards her for not fighting hard to live her life to the fullest? Hmmmmmmmmmmm Something to think about.
Had a blood test (monthly test) at the cancer center today. I do not yet know the results of the golden CA125, but hopefully will have a number on Monday. Cholesterol is great but white counts dangerously low. It's .5. Ideally it would be 4. My condition is a status such that if I get a fever I must go to the emergency room, immediately. This problem will be with me for the rest of my life. I seem to be destined to live as "bubble girl".
This may partly explain why I've been sleeping 12 hours per day, solid sleep.
Thanks to God and my doctor and my insurance, I will get a neulasta shot tomorrow and I'll be OK for a few months. In a few months, the number will bottom out again, and I'll have to take another $7K shot.
How do you feel about my neulasta costing $7K?
I may need to do some fundraisning next year...........Have a great weekend. Please also pray for my Aunt Kathy. She had a breast biopsy today. Let's hope the lump is nothing. I'll keep you posted.
God Bless and Be Love
Denise
I feel compassion for ANYONE contemplating suicide, but cancer patients get the majority of my compassion. Those people who get angry about a cancer patient "not fighting their hardest" to live?? Oh. My. God. THOSE people really have no clue what they're talking about and should seriously STFU. Oh, that makes me fighting mad! Who are they to decide if how much WE fight is enough or not? Are they going to hold us up in the ring, forcing us to keep taking punch after punch after we've been knocked down for the hundredth time? IT'S NOT THEIR FIGHT. Sorry, you can see that causes very powerful emotions in me.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you're getting the Neulasta shot. I don't care how much it costs. If you need it you should HAVE it, period. Prayers for your Aunt Kathy. thelumpisnothing thelumpisnothing thelumpisnothing
what was your last ca-125? mine is up to 1,000. :(
peace,
patty
Oh Patty, thank you for your prayers. I haven't gotten my results, but I'm fortunate mine are very low still, 10. I seem to obsess, but what can I do. You know, I agree with your comment on the suicidal condition/response. You never know when or if you'll feel that way and the last thing one would need is to have another person slam you for feeling so helpless.
ReplyDeleteSupport groups are supposed to support.
YOu're an angel.
Take care and God Bless