Good morning.
I am reading up on critical information from the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance. This link will bring up a symptom checker and diary, for OC detection. They also have a program that works with survivors to facilitate education and awareness of Ovarian Cancer for professionals in the healthcare arena. I may want to be a facilitator in the future.
I was astounded at how ignorant my healthcare providers were in the subject of OC. Women need to know what Ovarian Cancer is and they need to know the symptoms. But knowing the symptoms does no good if your doctor dismisses them to IBS or some other unrelated disorder.
http://www.ovariancancer.org/resources/diary
Be love,
Denise
CDC Symptom Diary Card
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Our body our temple
Today my rheumatologist called to say that the million viles of bloodwork taken at the ER all came back normal????????????????? So this begs the question, why am I getting sick?
Anyway, I start methotrexate tomorrow. I am nervous and feel anxious about the side effects. I prevailed after 6 months of harsh chemotherapy and find myself in the face of another chemo drug for RA. I am overwhelmed and need to find a way to cope.
I must rely on faith that God is giving me what I need to deal with my body. I have to be more positive. Maybe I will be able to handle the side effects OK. I just don't want to be "sickly" again. That is the worst feeling in the world. I could write a novel on "chemo brain" alone.
If I have another vomiting episode I will be referred to a GI physician and probably have an endoscopy/colonoscopy. Great. Another discipline, but yet again, it is a blessing.
I have the greatest doctors in the world, finally. So if they say I need another specialist than it must be true.
I feel like my body is a pendulum swinging in the throws of a hurricane, a heavy ball on a long line that goes high in the sky. Cancer took me to the heights of my tolerance and now I am literally flying up to the heights to challenge my next phase of illness. Out of control and filled with fear, I am riding along praying each day to get by.
God gives us these beautiful bodies that we should embrace and adore. I do everything I can to nurture my body in spite of the illnesses and medication side effects. We all have this suffering, our pendulums, our cries and our joys. It boggles me still though that I see some people actively destroy their beautiful bodies with drugs, alcohol, abusive practices, etc and they seem OK. Why is that?
Maybe genetically I was born to be weak and am actually strong. Maybe.
Anyway, since we don't know the answers all we can do is still try to take care of our bodies as best as possible, manage our stress and be compassionate and giving to others. Do not hold in your angers, be forgiving. Love your neighbors as you love yourself, and everything will come full circle.
Be love.
Anyway, I start methotrexate tomorrow. I am nervous and feel anxious about the side effects. I prevailed after 6 months of harsh chemotherapy and find myself in the face of another chemo drug for RA. I am overwhelmed and need to find a way to cope.
I must rely on faith that God is giving me what I need to deal with my body. I have to be more positive. Maybe I will be able to handle the side effects OK. I just don't want to be "sickly" again. That is the worst feeling in the world. I could write a novel on "chemo brain" alone.
If I have another vomiting episode I will be referred to a GI physician and probably have an endoscopy/colonoscopy. Great. Another discipline, but yet again, it is a blessing.
I have the greatest doctors in the world, finally. So if they say I need another specialist than it must be true.
I feel like my body is a pendulum swinging in the throws of a hurricane, a heavy ball on a long line that goes high in the sky. Cancer took me to the heights of my tolerance and now I am literally flying up to the heights to challenge my next phase of illness. Out of control and filled with fear, I am riding along praying each day to get by.
God gives us these beautiful bodies that we should embrace and adore. I do everything I can to nurture my body in spite of the illnesses and medication side effects. We all have this suffering, our pendulums, our cries and our joys. It boggles me still though that I see some people actively destroy their beautiful bodies with drugs, alcohol, abusive practices, etc and they seem OK. Why is that?
Maybe genetically I was born to be weak and am actually strong. Maybe.
Anyway, since we don't know the answers all we can do is still try to take care of our bodies as best as possible, manage our stress and be compassionate and giving to others. Do not hold in your angers, be forgiving. Love your neighbors as you love yourself, and everything will come full circle.
Be love.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Emergency room AGAIN
On Friday I had to go to the emergency room again! What is going on with me??????????????? I wonder if I am under a tremendous amount of stress or am I developing a new problem?
I started Friday with an appointment to see the cornea specialist. I had to take a shuttle from University of Washington to downtown Seattle, it was raining. Well, the specialist said my eyes were a little better and that the ulcers in my eyes were smaller. He said that the PUK was a definite result of RA and that we needed a better medication for RA. He started to tell me that I may need an infusion of more chemo drugs ( I can't remember the name) and methotrexate ( another chemo drug). I feel like I am reeling, but OK. I don't want to lose my eyesight and need my arthritis to be under control.
So I take the shuttle back to U of W for my RA appointment at 3:30, and it's raining and cold. But, I felt fine, just fine. I arrived just in time to check in and got to rest for a few minutes while waiting for the doctor. I got to enjoy watching a new mom play with her baby, which was relaxing. Had time to think about all that I am grateful for. I really did make a valid effort to lower my stress and be "positive'.
My rheumatologist said that she was mildly concerned about me having vasculitis, was worried about the PUK, and that the only measured successful treatments for PUK have been with methotrexate. I told her that I did not tolerate methotrexate in the past, that it made me very nauseous and "toxic". I told her I'd give it a try. I asked her to go over the side effects with me (hair loss, nausea, weakness, liver damage). GREAT, just what I need. The last thing I want is more chemo when I had a complete response to chemo for Ovarian Cancer. I am so so bummed.
She gave me three lab slips, said I needed a chest X-ray, needed tested for HIV and will need prophylactic treatments to prevent a specific type of pneumonia as well. Grand. On my way out I told her I felt a little nauseous. Within 15 minutes I was violently ill with vomiting, diarrhea and severe abdominal pain. The exact same thing I had last Friday and two other times before.
I eventually got admitted to the Emergency Room. They took a gazillion viles of blood, did two chest and one abdominal x-ray, and pushed fluids. They gave me Zofran and a few other drugs via the IV, but not until after the X-rays. I lost a lot of fluids and was so so so so so so sick. I was shaking like a leaf with chills from being dehydrated. My lovely sister came and stayed with me until I was discharged around 2am.
During that time, my blood pressure kept dropping and the ER doc got nervous. The gynecology oncology doctor "gynoc" on-call came to visit me in order to evaluate if I should be admitted. The ER doc wanted me admitted but said it was up to the "gynoc". The "gynoc" was very thorough in his assessment. He asked me everything about my Ovarian Cancer and Rheumatoid Arthritis history. Unfortunately he could not justify admission, so he ordered some anti-nausea suppositories in case this episode happens again, and said we need to keep tracking this situation. He said that he closely examined the X-rays and found no blockages or bleeds, nothing requiring surgery.
So today I sit here nervous about having another episode, and wonder if I am too stressed to handle my current condition. I wonder if I am unknowingly developing an aversion to certain foods. I hate not knowing what is causing the vomiting. I'm afraid to eat and just pray it doesn't happen again.
Next week I have two infusions to enhance my iron levels. I look forward to that. My sister and I agreed that I should not have multiple MD appointments on the same day, especially if they are at multiple locations. I just can't handle all the activity. I love my sister so much for coming to the ER, so sweeeeeeeet. I have such a supportive family.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.
I started Friday with an appointment to see the cornea specialist. I had to take a shuttle from University of Washington to downtown Seattle, it was raining. Well, the specialist said my eyes were a little better and that the ulcers in my eyes were smaller. He said that the PUK was a definite result of RA and that we needed a better medication for RA. He started to tell me that I may need an infusion of more chemo drugs ( I can't remember the name) and methotrexate ( another chemo drug). I feel like I am reeling, but OK. I don't want to lose my eyesight and need my arthritis to be under control.
So I take the shuttle back to U of W for my RA appointment at 3:30, and it's raining and cold. But, I felt fine, just fine. I arrived just in time to check in and got to rest for a few minutes while waiting for the doctor. I got to enjoy watching a new mom play with her baby, which was relaxing. Had time to think about all that I am grateful for. I really did make a valid effort to lower my stress and be "positive'.
My rheumatologist said that she was mildly concerned about me having vasculitis, was worried about the PUK, and that the only measured successful treatments for PUK have been with methotrexate. I told her that I did not tolerate methotrexate in the past, that it made me very nauseous and "toxic". I told her I'd give it a try. I asked her to go over the side effects with me (hair loss, nausea, weakness, liver damage). GREAT, just what I need. The last thing I want is more chemo when I had a complete response to chemo for Ovarian Cancer. I am so so bummed.
She gave me three lab slips, said I needed a chest X-ray, needed tested for HIV and will need prophylactic treatments to prevent a specific type of pneumonia as well. Grand. On my way out I told her I felt a little nauseous. Within 15 minutes I was violently ill with vomiting, diarrhea and severe abdominal pain. The exact same thing I had last Friday and two other times before.
I eventually got admitted to the Emergency Room. They took a gazillion viles of blood, did two chest and one abdominal x-ray, and pushed fluids. They gave me Zofran and a few other drugs via the IV, but not until after the X-rays. I lost a lot of fluids and was so so so so so so sick. I was shaking like a leaf with chills from being dehydrated. My lovely sister came and stayed with me until I was discharged around 2am.
During that time, my blood pressure kept dropping and the ER doc got nervous. The gynecology oncology doctor "gynoc" on-call came to visit me in order to evaluate if I should be admitted. The ER doc wanted me admitted but said it was up to the "gynoc". The "gynoc" was very thorough in his assessment. He asked me everything about my Ovarian Cancer and Rheumatoid Arthritis history. Unfortunately he could not justify admission, so he ordered some anti-nausea suppositories in case this episode happens again, and said we need to keep tracking this situation. He said that he closely examined the X-rays and found no blockages or bleeds, nothing requiring surgery.
So today I sit here nervous about having another episode, and wonder if I am too stressed to handle my current condition. I wonder if I am unknowingly developing an aversion to certain foods. I hate not knowing what is causing the vomiting. I'm afraid to eat and just pray it doesn't happen again.
Next week I have two infusions to enhance my iron levels. I look forward to that. My sister and I agreed that I should not have multiple MD appointments on the same day, especially if they are at multiple locations. I just can't handle all the activity. I love my sister so much for coming to the ER, so sweeeeeeeet. I have such a supportive family.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.
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