Monday, August 08, 2011
Update post chemoville
This is me before chemo in October 2009. Since then I've been bald and have grown
super curly grey locks. To color or not to color......still deciding.
I am finally scheduled to meet with the pain clinic next week to help me manage the never ending abdominal pain. This pain has become much more evident as I've started working from home. It hurts to force sitting for extended periods. I don't have as much flexibility with my WFH job as I'd hoped, and will just have to do the best I can. I have a golden opportunity if I can just hang on and keep up with the rest of the group.
The good news is that I may get some help paying for some ergo designed keyboard, monitor and may set up space so that I can stand and work when needed.
We'll see, so much effort to earn less than I earned in 2006. Oh well, what can I do, I'm so lucky to have this new job. Have to do what it takes. I just hope I remember things....yikes!
It hurts to sit for a long time and wear a bra or anything crossing across my waist. I find myself wearing little sundresses a lot, thank goodness it's warm. But this cannot continue. There's no way I could show up for an office meeting in a moo moo, or whatever.
I'm just so tired, catching up on paperwork and calls to doctors that I missed over the past three weeks. I need to reschedule a mammogram for my BRCA1 mut+ follow up. And, my mom has been warrior woman battling the woes of dialysis. Any advice???
Last week my sister took her, this week I take her. It's like a part time job for mom and very stressful, long days. Somehow I believe God will give us all the strength to get through. She has been through the wringer.
Now that I have a part time job, I can focus on increasing my life's stability, and be more valuable to others.
Cancer greatly reduced my "market value' in terms of being a regular employee, but it has increased my community value, which is where I need to focus my energy. My priest even told me to use my cancer to help others with cancer. I must stay on this track, that is where I provide the best value.
Once I'm a little more stable, I'd like to create a non-profit that fills a niche area of need within the ovarian cancer community. I know I can be successful, once I determine the needs and my best skills and resources. Now is the time, now is the moment.
Pressure is on to move into my own residence, which I hope works out to be sustainable. After 9 months of trial work period, I will probably stop receiving my benefits, and I'll be back to square one in terms of low income again. So I'll need to plan a way to prevent problems there.....so much to consider.
My job is time-intensive, lots of pressure. It's like running everywhere, never walking. I'm not sure I can hold up.........Lord help me stay afloat and not get demerits..........please. Seriously, I hope I make it.
I don't know what is going to happen in the near future, so my goal is just to keep my job, help my mom, be there for God and family, go on a few dates with "J" and stay positive.
I am so lucky to be breathing........Thank you God.
Peace and Blessings to all