Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Vocational Testing has begun
Today was the first of two days of vocational testing. I do the rest of the testing next week. Before I go into details I need to express the complete and total gratitude I have for the fortune of receiving these tests. I have been lost for such a long time when it comes to career, and since getting cancer and chemo and surgery , that just shattered what little confidence remained within me.
I don't know how long I'll be here, but I really do hope that this testing puts me on a clear and purposeful path that allows me to help others and feel gratified at the same time.
Today was a series of "bubble" tests concerning interests, psychological health and an assessment of my barriers to work. Nothing addressed my actual ability or aptitude, meaning I strongly like dancing but probably not a candidate for ballet in this lifetime.....oh well.
I just feel like a total failure. My mom says I was speaking full sentences at 6 months of age. I did well in school without much effort and had an ace memory before cancer. Now I can't remember what you name a game of "squash" without help. I can drive to new places, just afraid to........maps confuse me more than they used to.
I feel like chemo stole my soul, part of my mind and emotion. I feel like it drained my passion and put my legs in cement blocks. I "want" to do so many things, but just don't. I can sit and stare forever.............
Anyway, I am so happy that this ball is in motion. So grateful to God that he keeps sending me little angels to help me along.
Love you all!