whatever

Pleasantly surprised to find that the seasons channel on cable is still playing Christmas music..yay.  Anyway, I wanted to share up to dates on health, work progress, help needed, etc.  My body feels "OK" and I think the new supplements and cantelope are helping my belly.  My nausea is not as strong, still every day, but more manageable.......which gives me great hope.

First, since I've been battling cold with strong cough, I had to reschedule the psyche appointment.  I hope to see them this month.  I really do need at least one visit, especially after I finsih telling you about my appointment with voc rehab.

Second, went for CA125 lab and port flush yesterday.  I asked them to pull a CBC because it's time to get my WBC counts..........so we'll see.  I'll know all that in a few days.

Third, I see the breast nurse practitiioner at end of month for thorough breast exam....for BRCA1 mutation maintenance.  Let's hope all goes well and no lumps please.

Fourth, voc rehab is driving me crazy.  I met with "G", nice enough young man.  He claims he never received my medical records until lately.  But after I asked him to look, they were stamped as having been received by end of October. WHEN IM MET WITH THE FIRST PERSON IN EARLY OCTOBER, I SAID I HAD RESOURCES TIL END OF JANUARY, THEN THAT WAS IT. 

Well, here we are and the next step is for me to do a community based trial work for 2-3 weeks, unpaid.

The want to see if I' ready to return to work.  The problem is that "G: didn't even know what skills I had or anything.  Plus, I already said that going back to my original type of work was bad because my arthritis is worse since my cancer.  I can do spurts of things, like wash car, or clean room, or move small piece of furniture......but working 8 hours per day filing or typing is way different.  I need a new career!!!!!!!!!!!

ASSUMING I LIVE long enough to graduate!

I hate these people.  They have it all backwards and are not geared for cancer patients.  I only earn 626 per month on disability.  I just need a fricken part time job that won't kill me, and have that for a bit to build up my tolerance.  Then I want to do some training to see about working at home!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I go back on chemo, which I probably will have a recurrence, than I can work from home.

Why is this so hard to understand?????????????????????????????????????????

Plus mom wants me to move out soon, she will be starting some serious health treatments and would prefer to be alone.  I can understand that, but she'll need some help.....

I just don't understand why she won't just let me help for a while when I'm working part time, so that I'm there in case she needs someone and I'm then able to build up residual to move out.

No, now I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'll keep looking for part time work along with the millions of other people.............I hate this fucking disease.  Meanwhile the bitch who misdiagnosed me is earning a healthy stocky MD figure living the high life.  Fuck her.

Lost

Joyous Year ahead for 2011

At least for this we pray............what a great idea "happy new year".  Well I am hopeful for an even better 2011.  That's about the best I can do, for a resolution maker I am not.  Plus, I'm starting it off with a cold and was in bed by 10pm.  I did get to have fun watching Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper do their fun little show.  I think they should get together.......despite any rumors about AC.  I think he's fabulously handsome. 

They make the perfect couple.

Anyway, onto more serious topics, like LIVING.  Having been graced with the opportunity to talk with a few friends over New Years Eve really brightened my day and reminded me that friends can be the cornerstone for living long healthy lives.

My mom and I were talking about this for most of the day.  The most important loss she has sustained in moving to Seattle was the loss of close friends to "be with".  Seattle is not an easy place to get to know new people.  Everyone's covered from head to toe in rain gear, and running.  It's hecka heck to drive around out here, it's like living in a maze.  A lot of effort goes into planning a car trip across town, just a drag.  So it's hard to meet new people,

I go to Church and for the most part I relish in the opportunity to say hello, offer Peace, and be surrounded with a strong sense of community.  It lifts me to talk with God in his house.  Not everyone goes to church though, not everyone wants to go to a community center, or support group.  Somehow though, someway, we must find more ways to create meaningful healthy relationships with others, others who really do care.

The whole "It takes a village" thing is true.  AND, when we are receivers, we also need to be givers.  Maybe not all at the same time, but it's healing to be giving.  I always find ways to give with prayer when I am ill.  But I want to do more.  All of us can give with our prayers.

I really want to engage in a non-profit or start a non-profit to help women with ovarian cancer.  Maybe it will hone in on the needs of single women.  Single women who get cancer are really in a challenging place because although she may have good family and friends to help, the constant "partner" isn't there by her side to help with the details and daily things that are personal.

When you have cancer, sometimes all you want is just someone to hold you for a while. 

That being said, my hope is that for you the year 2011 brings riches in friends, family, jobs and community.  May the Lord Bless your home with Love and Peace.

Happy New Year,

Denise

CNET article about breath sensor spotting cancer!

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Breath sensor could offer on-the-spot cancer report

December 28, 2010 7:43 PM PST

Posted by Edward Moyer

Researchers say they've used nanoparticles to create a material sensitive enough to analyze a patient's breath in real time and detect indicators of cancer, diabetes, and other diseases.
In a statement released today, scientists at Purdue University and the National Institute of Standards and Technology said that though diagnostic breath-analysis tools have been around for several decades, this is the first time a material has been developed that's sensitive enough to deliver on-the-spot results.
"We are talking about creating an inexpensive, rapid way of collecting diagnostic information about a patient," Carlos Martinez, an assistant professor of materials engineering at Purdue, said in the statement. "It might say, '... you are metabolizing a specific compound indicative of this type of cancer,' and then additional, more complex tests could be conducted to confirm the diagnosis."
These sorts of breath-analysis tools detect changes in electrical resistance or conductance as a gas--i.e., the patient's breath--passes over sensors. The changes can point to the presence of "biomarkers," substances that serve as red flags for various ailments and physical conditions.
The Purdue and NIST technologists basically produced a more effective sensor by increasing its surface area. They replaced a flat surface with a material created using a coating of metal oxide nanoparticles, which introduced lots of nooks and crannies, and made for an extremely porous metal-oxide film.

Replacing a flat surface with a porous one lets researchers increase the "active sensing surface area" to improve sensitivity.

(Credit: Purdue University and NIST)

They then used the material to detect acetone, a biomarker for diabetes, in a gas that mimicked a person's breath. They were quickly able, they said, to pick up on biomarkers in the parts per billion to parts per million range--at least 100 times better than earlier breath-analysis tools.
"People have been working in this area for about 30 years but have not been able to detect low enough concentrations in real time," Martinez said. "We solved that problem with the materials we developed, and we are now focusing on how to be very specific, how to distinguish particular biomarkers."
"The fact that we were able to do this in real time is a big step in the right direction," Martinez said, though tools like this for real-world use are likely a decade away, if not longer, in part because precise manufacturing standards haven't been developed for the new approach.

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Job hunting for the weary

Hello all,

Well, today I emaild 5 resumes along with cover letters to small business around Queen Anne and Seattle.  Most were part time office assistant positions, which

I should be able to manage.

I don't expect any responses, just know I need to do this every day now.

I am so worried.  Today I had a wave of nausea overcome me for an hour, even after taking medications.  This is concerning because I hope I will be able to keep up in a new job setting, no matter what it is.

My state DVR counselor (different from University Dept of Medicine counselor) said he's still not sure if I'm able to work yet, but does encourage PT work.  I need the income for sure, so I am happy to do all I can do to find work.

It's really only been in the last few weeks that I can honestly say I "feel" ready to do something Part time.  It's this nausea........overall it's getting better, but if I am in a public setting (work or not) and it hits me, I literally have to stop and sit or lay down, take pills and just breathe.  That's probably not going away any time soon.  Plus, my arthritis, who knows how that will respond. 

Anyway, I don't want to be a bum, and I can't sustain myself on $626 per month.  I have resources to continue through January, but I must have a job by end of January.  I still have really really good credit and am blessed for that, so I am hoping some good will comes my way in the job arena.

The news is reporting that 84% of working people are planning to look for new jobs in 2011.  That is great news for me, I can fill one of those empty jobs.

In the back of my mind, I have a target date of March 2012.  If by March of 2012 I have no relapses of ovarian cancer, then I will have a strong chance of living 5 years or longer.

So everything I do now is designed to prevent recurrence, which includes stress management.

That's why I joke about wanting to work with puppies.  I just don't want a new job setting to weaken my immunity even further and create a foundation for relapse.

I'm doing all I can do.

I'll let ya'll know if Iget any bites in the future!

Please send any ideas to me too....I'd really appreciate them.

Be Love and God Bless that all have a healthy and prosperous 2011

Denise

Cookies are great therapy

This time last year, I wasn't able to eat any vegetables and had to steer clear of excessive treats for fear of severe abdominal pain and upset.  This Christmas I was so happy to be able to bake!  Nothing says Christmas like holiday cookies in a gift bag.

Mom and I live in a really quaint little neighborhood and have super nice neighbors all around us.  Typically, the neighbrhood gets together a few weeks before Christmas for a travelling Christmas party.  They roam from home to home, bonding, eating, drinking and laughing.  Mom and I have not been able to participate in the festivities mainly because it's at night.  It's just too hard to do in the dark....but we found a way to spread holiday cheer this year.

Mom and I baked cookies!  We made chocolate drops, mexican wedding cookies, snickerdoodles, and peppermint bark.  It was so so so much fun.  We were exhausted though, it took quite a while.

We placed cookies in holiday bags along with a few candy canes, and wha-la!

The best part is that our neighbors loved them.  I hope they tasted OK, but the gesture was probably unexpected.

I think it's great therapy to bake something for someone else at least once per month........I'll see if I can do that.

I am so grateful to be able to do bake!

Happy Holidays