Hospitalization

I had to be hospitalized due to high fever on Saturday. My fever of 104 was alarming, and although it started to reduce after taking two tylenol, the doctor on call insisted that I go to the hospital. I was admitted to University of Washington so that Dr. Goff of SCCA could monitor me. The staff of nurses and physicians were so professional. The best part was my sister Mandy stayed the night to watch over me, like the angel she is.

They had trouble drawing blood from my port, so consequently had to stick me in the arm three times, but that was OK. I received two rounds of antibiotics and IV fluids for dehydration. The last time I had chemo I had a fever too.

Towards the end of this round of chemo on Friday, I had a reaction to the carboplatin. My hands itched and I got red spots on my face. I received benadryl, but later that night I had chills so bad I had to sleep with a heating pad. Then my fever of course spiked. I really didn't want to go to the hospital, but it was the right thing to do. I am worried about money.

Results are they found no infection, so I am clueless as to why I had such a high fever. I still have nystagmus. Luckily I see my gynecologist, Dr. Gray, on Thursday. Hopefully we can resolve this because I can't afford to keep going to the ER or being admitted to the hospital.

I had a breakdown yesterday in the SCCA clinic. I went to get my neupogen shot and I was accidently deleted in the system, after I checked in. After two hours, I was fit to be tied, angry and just started yelling. Not a pretty picture. Today I asked for emotional support and a referral to psyche.

I feel so lost because my energy is so low. I have very little of a "life" in terms of future employment and cannot visualize what my life will be. I want to be in church so badly. I desperately need to find my life's purpose and commit to good work. Maybe a psychologist can help me start on my way.

I do not want to be placed on antidepressants though, that is not the solution. I need real guidance.

Love all of you and thank you Mom and Mandy for watching out for me when I can't make good decisions on my own. I really didn't want to go to the hospital, but it was necessary.

Love you all.
Denise

Happy Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have more to be thankful for than ever before. My friends and family have been so supportive, so helpful, so caring and loving. My mother is literally taking care of me by allowing me to live with her in her home. I am enjoying the chance to renew my relationship with her and enjoying every minute. I love you MOM!

My adorable sister Mandy, who has literally re-arranged her life to help me with getting through this challenging time. I am so grateful to her, she religiously takes me to chemo and is there every time I need her. She has a beautiful family and business and has so graciously helped me manage my situation. For getting me health insurance, what a blessing. I love you and am so so blessed to be able to spend time with you, Pat, Laria and Addie. I pray for your peace and happiness every day.

My brother Arnie, who is a rock in our family. Whom was right there to help me when I needed it and always sends a message of hope and love. So responsible and helpful and I don't know what I would have done without him to help me get my car and stuff to Seattle. I pray that your family has serenity and union every day. I love you.

Aunt Debbie and Uncle Rich, for all their love and support. My Aunt Debbie sacrificed her time to stay with me in Folsom after my surgery. At this time of uncertaintly, my prayers are with you.

My friend Barb who helped me prepare for my move to Seattle and with errands while I was recovering from surgery in California. Craig, my ex-honey, who drove my belongings to Seattle from Folsom. What a generous feat and it was so nice to spend time with him in Seattle. My Uncle Don and Shawn Allen, and Aunt Kathy who call almost every day. Thank you. Aunt Bernie, Courtney and Uncle Bruce, I know how much you care and your notes of support have been so much appreciated. Mike and Pier, who made several runs to the airport for my family, while I was in surgical recovery. Judy Grondin, a minister from church, who took me to appointments in Folsom.

My pastor MSR Kidder, who blessed me with the sacrament of the sick on several occassions. God Bless. Philip Corollo who offered kind words of support and encouragement from afar. Randy Fann, for all the help with moving me around while Aunt Debbie and Mandy were in Folsom. Russ and Teresa Tuttle, for giving me my job and creating a way for me to have ongoing insurance. Tammy and Chris Gabel, Marina Krikorian and Jennifer and Jim Alvarez for all their kind support. My renewed friendship with Rebecca Moore and Jennifer Tesone. All the rest of my family, including my father. My new home minister, Patricia Davis, for coming to my home to give me holy communion. My doctors and nurses at SCCA, I love you so much. The doctors and nurses put patients first and make me feel special.

I hope that I have not forgotten anyone. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!! I love you!!!

temp 102 yesterday

Yesterday was a rough day. Not sure why but I had a temp of 102. Had to call the nurse. Took two extra strength tylenol and went back to bed with a cold compress. Today my temp is normal. The night after chemo I was up the whole time with chills, I couldn't get warm. I was chilled all day yesterday.

No run to the emergency room though. I am grateful for a better day today. The nausea will start to kick in on Sunday, third day after chemo. That is when the IV drugs wear off. Happy day.

The good news is I get Thanksgiving "off" and have treatment on Friday. I'll need to not eat a lot though, still have to stick to small amounts of food. That's OK. I am looking forward to a special day of Thanks for all the blessings in my life, especially family and friends. What more does a person really need?

Thank you to all of my supporters.

Love,
Denise