Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Today Marks My 6 Year Cancerversary
Today marks 6 years since went under the knife. I remember mom and my aunt faithfully attending to every need and listening attentively to every word spoken by the nurses and doctors prior to the surgery. Mom would later be standing in front of me the first time I sat in a chair to show me that I can be strong. I just wish I had known that was what she was doing at the time. I was very clostrophobic. My cancer took a toll on her and for that my heart still aches. God I did not want for my cancer to take a toll on her or anyone.
Two days prior to surgery I worked my last day, making every effort to prepare my work space so that someone could take over my responsibilities. My pain was so bad I could not be upright more than an hour at a time. I was looking very pregnant by then and unable to wear any pants or shorts.
The prep, the packing, the planning all so tasking because after this major surgery I knew I would be needing help for awhile. My family running on adrenaline to assist me however it could be done because I was single, renting a room in a house. What a nightmare. My sister and aunt literally taking two weeks off from their lives to cater to mine. My brother driving my car to Seattle and me moving from California to Seattle to live with mom so that I could get chemo at the SCCA. My sister did all the legwork to find the SCCA for me.
My life and the lives of those around me were completely upended. A traumatic time and event that still lingers in my battle with panic and anxiety today.
Life is much different now. My sweet mom has since passed away and now I live in Seatttle alone once again. Right now I cannot work but am increasing my participation in therapies to improve my overall health. I am and will always be on Avastin until I cannot tolerate it anymore as I LIVE with metastatic cancer. Praise God for this medication and for 6 years of living since that day!
I never thought I could live with cancer, but I can! I have medical appointments every week, but it is not trauma, it is just a new way of living.
My family here is my community of neighbors, friends, church and healthcare providers. I long to live where I can see the water from my window but am not likely to ever move away from the SCCA. The SCCA has been my lifeline. My gynonc, Dr. Heidi Gray, has been my angel on earth.
So on this day I celebrate a second chance at living and hope that my story offers hope to you, my reader, that no matter what your barrier, there can be a rainbow. My prayers and thanks go to all of my family who sacrificed so much of their lives to go through this with me.
My faith in God and my daily prayers helped me to stay grounded and strong during these years.
I invite you to attend an enlightening retreat that I feel called upon to nurture. It will be led by Sr. Anne Marie, a cancer survivor herself, of the S.O.L.T. Sisterhood. I attended their retreat in January and was so lifted by the epxerince that it was only natural to ask them if we can do one for women with cancer. Sr. Laudem Gloriae was so delighted to help.
Please join us in September. We have room for 10 more participants. The fee is a donation of your choosing. The rooms come with private baths and meals are provided. The campus has a beautiful meditation garden and Perpetual Adoration Chapel.
The link is located at http://www.deepprayer.org or you can email me your name, address, phone number and email address to: firstname.lastname@example.org to register for the event.
Thank you for sharing in my joy.
God Bless you.