The Command To Be Perfect

Hello friends,

As you may know, Sr. Anne Marie Walsh of SOLT and I host a free monthly spiritual exercise group/support group for people wounded by cancer.  This includes patients, spouses, loved ones, cancer survivors and for those who have lost a loved one due to cancer.  Our group also hosts retreats on a periodic basis to help those who would like to take special time away from day to day distractions and focus on their relationship with Jesus, in light of their situation related to cancer and health.

Tonight we are hosting a call with Sr. Anne Marie about "The Command To Be Perfect".  This will be a very interesting spiritual exercise because our society, especially in more advanced cultures, really alters what is meant by perfect and we are simply incapable of reaching "perfection".

I went on a retreat in Iowa at Domus Trinitatis about two weeks ago and must say it was truly challenging for me spiritually.  I was experiencing more of our Lord's suffering than joy but continue to reflect on that in total and strive to apply this to my current life as I focus on being closer to Him.

The link to tonight's session is on our website and can be found by clicking here. 

This past year has really been challenging physically. I won't bore you with all the details but let's just say I am really struggling physically.  If I didn't have a true Love for God, the Saints and our Blessed Mother who knows where I would be.  I always stay grateful that I am alive to tell about it.  I really do understand how fortunate I am. 

Thank you for listening and I hope you have some time to visit our website at https://facingourimmortality.org/.

Peace and Blessings,
Denise
aka Servivorgirl!

Celebrating 10 Years

This week marks the anniversary of 10 years since my ovarian cancer diagnosis and surgery. Wow!  If someone would have told me that I would still be here, 10 years later, I really would not have believed them.  I have been spending a lot of quiet time lately reflecting on this past decade.

My mom, my sister (and her family), my brother, my father, my aunt, my friends Barb and Craig, and my doctors are the people who carried me for the first few years after that painful time.  My life was literally uprooted. I was without any control, real or imagined.  My faith in God was never in doubt but I quickly realized that what I thought I knew about His plan for me was completely wrong. I never lost my love for Him, I adore Him with all of my being!

At this point in my life I am more peaceful, because I know that eternity is real.  My mom is in heaven and I am yearning for time with her.  I miss her so much it hurts sometimes.  Comfort comes from knowing that she is truly with Jesus, she is safe, she is joyful, she is at peace.

Since my diagnosis I have met some amazing people, forged new and lasting friendships, endeavored in a completely unexpected direction by starting a cancer ministry, and have reconnected with precious friends from long ago.  I have also sadly suffered losses of relationships with people whom I love and hold dear to my heart.  My body is broken but my spirit is strong.

I am grateful for this rickety body, ha!  It doesn't work how I want it to but my heart and soul know that Glory awaits for us all, if we want to accept it.

I pray for you and ask you pray for me.  Please pray for our cancer ministry, Facing Our Immortality.  Please pray for my family, my friends, my doctors, our ministry's religious sisters and my sweet kit kat Marilyn. Pray for each other and ask God to help you.  Develop a relationship with Him so that you don't feel alone.  He loves you.  

Thank you for taking time to catch up with me today.  I hope that you can find joy in your days and your life. Thank you for caring.

Peace and Blessings to you and yours.

Love,
Denise 

Pain

HOPE - Join Us For Tonight's Conference Call

How do we embrace HOPE?

Join us tonight to talk about HOPE with Sr. Anne Marie Walsh, of The Society of Our Lady of The Most Holy Trinity (SOLT).  We started our monthly cancer wellness and spiritual exercise group last fall and it is truly blossoming.

To view our session, please link here.

Peace and Blessings,

Denise

Bone Marrow Biopsy Tomorrow

I must admit I am feeling a little anxious about tomorrow's bone marrow biopsy. I have not written on my blog in a long time and I hope all of my readers haven't forgotten about me.  :-)  The reason for the biopsy is that my absolute neutrophil counts are not recovering after taking breaks from Zejula.

My most recent lab showed them at .3, dangerously low.  Praises to God that I have not contracted any infections since this all started a few months ago.  My fatigue level is extremely high.  I feel like I have no air, no energy and just want to sleep all the time.  My patience is a little weaker than normal.  My body is just not really lovin' me right now, ha.

I had a pulmonary embolism in early August.  Xarelto failed me, Lovenox gives me liver toxicity and after a second pulmonary embolism in October, I am now on Fragmin.  In the midst of all of these issues with blood clots I have had serious issues with my blood counts from Zejula. 

Up until a few months ago we were able to manage my neutropenia by taking breaks from Zejula.  The dose was even lowered to the lowest level of 100 mg per day but my counts cannot stay at a safe enough level to remain on Zejula.  I have excellent care at Anschutz (primary care, gynecology oncology and hematology oncology).  They really want to help me, they care.  I trust them.

We need to rule out secondary cancers.  It would be very unlikely that I have a secondary cancer or new cancer in the bone marrow, I really do believe that.  I was told that it is more likely to be an immune disorder of some sort.  Obviously whatever it turns out to be I pray it is treatable so that I can both resume Zejula or some form of maintenance treatment and that I can get some energy back.

I must always state how grateful I truly am for the time I have on earth, and even though this goes without saying, I want people to know this.  It will take a few weeks to really know what is going on.  When I get results, I'll let you know.

I pray you have a Happy Thanksgiving.  I have so many things to be grateful for, especially family, friends, and the love of God.  Peace to all!

God Bless you!