PALLIATIVE CARE: An Introduction

I have not forgotten my ovarian sisters or their families.  Our family has been grieving the loss of mom.  My life has been enmeshed with my mom's life for many years, and each moment of joy and pain is equally treasured.  We honored her life last weekend in Colorado, with family and friends from all around the region.  My sweet Aunt said that she felt uplifted at the end. My sister worked so hard on the arrangements, thank you sis.  We chose to share mom's joy, her smiles, elegance and cherished life events.  Her suffering made us stronger.  Now she rests in peace, with God.

As a person with cancer it is important to do all we can not only to learn about our cancer and treatments, but learn about resources that can assist us with our suffering. Palliative care can be an essential ingredient in the complex and everchanging recipe for our care.

My mom had the blessing of speaking with two palliative care nurses a week or so before she died.  They gave her attention, validated her integrity and spoke with and to her as a whole person. They assured her that they were THERE to ease her suffering, and she was so happy about that.

I had asked several years back if the hospital offered palliative care, and at that time they did not.  This service came to her too late, but it is not yet offered as a standard service.  It is still relatively new and if you think you need it, please ask about it.

Indirectly, I believe that mom's primary doctors were offering palliative treatments, but without defining it as such, her treatments were not coordinated. This happens far too often.

Mom suffered great abdominal pain, nausea, fatigue and emotional exhaustion from grappling with the ups and downs from multiple hospitalizations and an overall downward trend in her quality of life.  Plus a critical element, family education, really never happened.  

When an individual is deemed to have chronic pain and suffering from a serious illness, the caregivers and patient need to be on the same page.  To leave the education up to the patient places an unfair burden on them.  The patient may not want to appear needy and the palliative care team knows HOW to educate without undermining a patient's dignity.  How I wish mom had received this help earlier....

Had palliative care been introduced sooner, she may have had an overall better quality of life. Her family would have had support in supporting her better in the way mom wanted.  We all did the best we could, and every life experience is a lesson.  Mom had type 1 diabetes with all the trimmings, she suffered greatly.  In her suffering she still managed to shine a beautiful smile, joyful laugh or deep regard for her loved ones.

Cancer patients greatly benefit from palliative care.  This type of program has the purpose of enhancing quality of life by managing pain, stress and any other major issue inhibiting our ability to live as best we can with our illness. Please go to the lnk below to learn more about this treatment plan and to see if you or a loved one could benefit from this type of care.

Peace and Blessings

http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/caregivers-resources/grp-end-of-life-issues/hsgrp-hospice/hospice-vs-palliative-care-article.aspxhttp://www.getpalliativecare.org/whatis/

Mom's Obituary I LOVE YOU MOM!

I am so thankful that over the past few years a few of you have taken time to know our mom.  I miss her so much.  I never knew a heart could ache like this.  

I am pasting a link to her obituary.  One day I will see her again.

  Mom, I love you forever.  God rest your sweet soul.

Painting The Heavens

My aunt and sister did such a beautiful job of writing up mom's story, love you!

Feng Shui

I awoke today (Sunday) at 8pm.  I had slept 18 hours, basically straight through except to feed sweet Marilyn and get a glass of water. 

So contrary to the burst of energy felt a few days ago when a Fung Shui master came to my humble abode and assisted me with arranging my space to create the optimum living space for me.  One that facilitates healing, comfort, spiritual growth, family and creativity.  After she left, I felt much more capable of finishing my move.

I found the rather reasonable fee well worth it, for she saved me from making several purchases for furniture that I really don't need.  Yay.

My "stuckness" today is that I still need a piece for the TV, a TV and a pretty storage area to hold the unfinished projects from mom, photos, and my project stuff.  Plus I work part time from home and want my desk area to generate creative positive energy.  I need to finish the project, sigh.  After I am done writing, I will play with Marilyn and order my stuff.  Yes I will!

I recently moved from a very small one bedroom quiet apartment to a two bedroom in the same building.  I am totally and completely exhausted from moving mom's things, my things and now needing to finish setting up my things.  I am tired of things, to be honest.  Most definitely tired of moving.  This last move will either be number 29 or 30 for me.

But mom's things are beautiful, her pottery, art, photos, furniture and other pieces bring me comfort.  I want to honor her memory properly and display them with care.  No clutter.  No tacky arrangements.

The consultant surprised me.  She was bright, cheery, well trained, almost two decades, and just knew what to do.  I let her know I was still in treatment for ovarian cancer recurrence, mom had just passed away and that I needed help to create the ideal space.  We chatted, she was very comfortable to talk with.  Then she rolled up her sleeves and started moving things around. 

I had mom's painting and prints all lined up along with nicely framed family photos.  We spent lots of time planning the placement of each piece to be in harmony with the energy of the baqua, or life layout.

It was amazing to see how she placed each piece just perfectly and suddenly the area radiates, the piece is more vibrant and you want to be in that space.

I need a handyman to help me hang prints.  I need to still buy the storage units, media table and TV.  After that it's a matter of ongoing shredding and setting up the pottery for display.  I want to get to work on the photos project. 

I am also chronically fatigued, behind on tasks related to moving, etc.  I just am overwhelmed.  When my apartment is finished, this space will be a part of my healing as opposed to just a place to stay and pay rent.

I have always been very sensitive to my surroundings.  My mom used to sort of complain that I was too particular.  I separated my food.  Can't stand to be in dirty places or dark spaces.  I would make a terrible archeologist for example.

My mom is allowing me an opportunity to fully create this space and I am excited. 

Below I am pasting a link about cancer fatigue and also a link to Cynthia Chomos.  She really made it easier to blend my mom's belongings with my few little things into an arrangement that honors the work she did and inspires me to thrive.

I am weighted with worry because I am adding Enbrel to my arthritis treatment plan.  Basically Enbrel works by blocking Tumor Necrosis Factor to fight inflammation.  My Avastin fights to cut off blood supply to my tumors.  So Enbrel could make it easier for my tumors to flourish.  I have run out of options.  Part of my terrible fatigue could be from the bad arthritic flares that started  back in September.  I need to get my arthritis under control, and the risk to my cancer is small but there.  I just would be devastated if something went wrong.  I am tired of crying when I have to open a difficult container.  Ha

So anything we can do to create a healthy living space will help us feel better.  I have always operated that way.  Please take a moment to look at these links.  Cynthia was the exact person I needed to get me started here in this new place. 

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Feng Shui

http://www.cynthiachomos.com/index.htm

Cancer Fatigue

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/fatigue/Patient/page2

Mom in one of her gardens.