|Mom in one of her gardens.|
Monday, February 24, 2014
I awoke today (Sunday) at 8pm. I had slept 18 hours, basically straight through except to feed sweet Marilyn and get a glass of water.
So contrary to the burst of energy felt a few days ago when a Fung Shui master came to my humble abode and assisted me with arranging my space to create the optimum living space for me. One that facilitates healing, comfort, spiritual growth, family and creativity. After she left, I felt much more capable of finishing my move.
I found the rather reasonable fee well worth it, for she saved me from making several purchases for furniture that I really don't need. Yay.
My "stuckness" today is that I still need a piece for the TV, a TV and a pretty storage area to hold the unfinished projects from mom, photos, and my project stuff. Plus I work part time from home and want my desk area to generate creative positive energy. I need to finish the project, sigh. After I am done writing, I will play with Marilyn and order my stuff. Yes I will!
I recently moved from a very small one bedroom quiet apartment to a two bedroom in the same building. I am totally and completely exhausted from moving mom's things, my things and now needing to finish setting up my things. I am tired of things, to be honest. Most definitely tired of moving. This last move will either be number 29 or 30 for me.
But mom's things are beautiful, her pottery, art, photos, furniture and other pieces bring me comfort. I want to honor her memory properly and display them with care. No clutter. No tacky arrangements.
The consultant surprised me. She was bright, cheery, well trained, almost two decades, and just knew what to do. I let her know I was still in treatment for ovarian cancer recurrence, mom had just passed away and that I needed help to create the ideal space. We chatted, she was very comfortable to talk with. Then she rolled up her sleeves and started moving things around.
I had mom's painting and prints all lined up along with nicely framed family photos. We spent lots of time planning the placement of each piece to be in harmony with the energy of the baqua, or life layout.
It was amazing to see how she placed each piece just perfectly and suddenly the area radiates, the piece is more vibrant and you want to be in that space.
I need a handyman to help me hang prints. I need to still buy the storage units, media table and TV. After that it's a matter of ongoing shredding and setting up the pottery for display. I want to get to work on the photos project.
I am also chronically fatigued, behind on tasks related to moving, etc. I just am overwhelmed. When my apartment is finished, this space will be a part of my healing as opposed to just a place to stay and pay rent.
I have always been very sensitive to my surroundings. My mom used to sort of complain that I was too particular. I separated my food. Can't stand to be in dirty places or dark spaces. I would make a terrible archeologist for example.
My mom is allowing me an opportunity to fully create this space and I am excited.
Below I am pasting a link about cancer fatigue and also a link to Cynthia Chomos. She really made it easier to blend my mom's belongings with my few little things into an arrangement that honors the work she did and inspires me to thrive.
I am weighted with worry because I am adding Enbrel to my arthritis treatment plan. Basically Enbrel works by blocking Tumor Necrosis Factor to fight inflammation. My Avastin fights to cut off blood supply to my tumors. So Enbrel could make it easier for my tumors to flourish. I have run out of options. Part of my terrible fatigue could be from the bad arthritic flares that started back in September. I need to get my arthritis under control, and the risk to my cancer is small but there. I just would be devastated if something went wrong. I am tired of crying when I have to open a difficult container. Ha
So anything we can do to create a healthy living space will help us feel better. I have always operated that way. Please take a moment to look at these links. Cynthia was the exact person I needed to get me started here in this new place.