CDC Symptom Diary Card

Sunday, January 19, 2014

I just saw it on CNN.com: 'He's going to be better than he was before'

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/18/health/fish-oil-recovery/index.html?hpt=he_c1

One of the most traumatic nights of my life happened not long ago. Someone I love more than anyone else on earth passed away.  I am sorting through memories of those teeny tiny increments of time.  It is like trying to catch snowflakes with tweezers.  Then every once in awhile something reinforces the strangeness of that night, the intention that may or may not have been.

I wonder how I would have reacted if I had known about the information in this video at the time we found out there was no hope for mom.  I am certain I would have asked the doctors for fish oil.  I would have fought tooth and nail to at least give it another day, one more chance.

In the above article they talk about saving their son's life  and how they threw "everything but the kitchen sink" at his treatment.

This article is very inspiring. It makes me want to DO something. Sometimes I feel like I am swinging at air. Then after a bit I relax into peace. Up. Down. Up. Down.

want to turn back the clock.  I want a second chance to have that night again.  But do I?  I would not want for one thought of suffering for mom once more but what if there was a chance? 

After re-reading this post several times I am also remembering though that these events are not choices. We must go when called, and THAT cannot be doubted.  I go through this circle very day, what if and then to God.  God is where Peace lives.

I also have a thousand thoughts about this article, but I will just leave one.  In the case of this boy he had very strong-willed parents who were searching for anything so that their son could be saved.  The right information was presented at the right time, not a coincidence. It is our fortune to learn more about this treatment.

I pray for those who are alone in the hospital that have no voice, no cheerleader, no individual who can stay with them while receiving treatment.  We all need an extra pair of eyes and ears if we are in the hospital.  

I applaud this family, the writer, Dr. Gupta, and the other doctors for revealing this important information.  It adds another layer of help and hope for those with brain damage.

Peace and love,
Denise




Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Love

I gave my undivided attention to this PBS documentary about Lipizzaner Stallions.  I had heard of these beautiful horses from my mother, and of course my adorable nieces, who loved and love horses.

 I have a funny memory of mom being followed by one of grandpa's racing horses.  She was laughing one of those panicky laughs while trying to keep away from him.  He got out from inside the fence and was running up behind her along the long driveway. I think he liked mom's hair or thought she had carrots and apples.  Anyway, it was pretty comical.  Mom loved horses.

What I found most interesting in this documentary was not just the complex history of this rare breed of horse but truly the love and care that is given to these beauties since their birth.

All I can think about is what love means and how do we show love.  Why can't all humans receive this kind of love?

The horses are well fed, pampered, groomed, bathed and spoken to with gentle care, their entire lives.  
They therefore learn to love back and trust.

It is so simple a concept, yet we humans have such a long way to go when it comes to loving one another.  

Humans have great capacity to love, yet we don't always.  

Imagine every child on the planet clean and bathed, well nourished and only treated with utmost kindness and love.  Not ever a note of anger or violence to be experienced.  Wow.

Just that alone could change the world.  Imagine every elderly person and disabled person receiving the same.  And everyone else.  Love is the foundation of our existence.

When you watch this you will see.......

http://video.pbs.org/video/2364999318/

Love,
Denise

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Support Her

I just found a very helpful study that confirms what we knew all along: social support, spiritual health and psychological health correlate with our quality of life, even moreso if you have ovarian cancer.

I am posting the link below, as I cannot copy it to my blog directly.  

This may be a very useful article for your own knowledge and well being.  It also may help you if you need a medical professional to have more empathy towards your overall well-being. It especially adds value in terms of communication with loved ones and caregivers.

I am really fortunate in that my gyn oncologist has always placed my quality of life as her number one priority when it comes to my care.  I currently have a counselor and my support network is open and listens to my needs.  Cancer is complex, ovarian cancer is no exception.  Adding cancer to your already complex life and to the lives of those around you brings about all kinds of opportunities for generosity, but also can bring about sadness and isolation.

If you have ovarian cancer and feel that you need more emotional support, you are not alone.

This article outlines areas of need and validates that supportive environments play a critical role in our quality of life.  Not everyone gets the support they need, but personally I think it's not always because of lack of potential. Giving help and receiving help are sensitive issues in general.  Caregivers and loved ones may not really know how to help and understanding cancer fatigue, for example, is almost impossible unless you know it yourself.

It is somewhat of a relief that this area of need is being studied as it relates to ovarian cancer. I hope to see more research and help in this area for all who are effected by ovarian cancer.  

I have believed since the beginning that psycho-spiritual-social treatment should be automatically included as needed in the overall treatment for ovarian cancer.  Insurance should cover this as well.  We have multitudes of support groups, both online and in community, available to us but the issues at hand can be so involved that a psychologist or psychiatrist may really be needed to help mend our open wounds.

Peace and blessings to you!


http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/pon.3322/abstract


Roland, K. B., Rodriguez, J. L., Patterson, J. R. and Trivers, K. F. (2013), A literature review of the social and psychological needs of ovarian cancer survivors. Psycho-Oncology, 22: 2408–2418. doi: 
10.1002/pon.3322







Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year 2014


Happy New Year!  

Generally speaking, I don't make new year's resolutions.  Instead I sift through the areas of my life where I have done well and not so well.  Then I think about why I did well and what area of my life needs the most work to be the best contribution.  I do my best then to find one goal I can improve upon.

Last year I wanted to be the best daughter I could, get healthier and continue to raise awareness of ovarian cancer, whilst always bringing myself closer to God.

This year I think I did most of that, pry helping too much or where I was not wanted. I did as best I could, but also realized I really lost contact with our Lord.  Not so much on a daily prayer basis, because I pray several times per day.  I have not yet truly engaged in my spiritual community.  This year will change, after reparation the goal is to find a way to renew that committment.

I have been blessed with home ministry communion from my local parish over most of this past year due to extreme fatigue and flares of arthritis.  I will ask Sr. Marie to help me through this to attend mass earlier now that our family is moving through the  most devastating loss we ever could imagine.  Healing from this loss will be a lifelong work, I could have never imagined this pain.  But I also could never imagine the relief knowing that she is with God, safe, free, unhindered by earthly anchors and pains.

I know that helping others heal from cancer and raising awareness of ovarian cancer is part of my mission, I know that cannot be done without an ongoing lifelong dedication to building my relationship with Him.

I want simplicity in 2014.  In the most literal sense.  

I ask for prayers to heal those who are sick, impoverished, burdoned with anger and loneliness, and for those who are missing their most beloved.

Below is a link for a message from Pope Francis.  I found it interesting because he noted the importance of our elders.  I pray that this message rings around the world for our elders give us hope, knowledge, confidence, pleasure, love, grace and community.  One of my mom's most fierce passions were the plight of the elderly in this country, being discarded, marginalized and sent away.  It would bring tears to my eyes at what she would endure sometimes   May this trend change so that pur culture brings the aging parents back into our lives.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/10543818/Watch-live-New-Year-fireworks-and-celebrations-around-the-world.html 



http://vatican.com/news/frame.aspx?url=http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/1305423.htm





I dedicate 2014 to my sweet strong loving mom.

I love you!

May each and all of you bring in 2014 recharged, to make just one area of your life in support of community.  For those of you who would like to celebrate the new year in prayer, here is a link that may serve you well: