CDC Symptom Diary Card

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Teal is on the horizon, wear teal on Sept 2, 2011



http://www.unitedstatesofteal.org/take-action/


Time
Friday, September 2 · 12:00am - 11:30pm

Location
Across the United States

Created By

More Info
Teal is the color of ovarian cancer awareness. On the first Friday in September, our national ovarian cancer awareness month, we urge everyone who cares about this disease to wear teal--and tell others why you are dressed in this color.

This year, we're adding a social media component to Wear Teal Day. Please post photos of yourself decked out in teal on Facebook, and tag the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance. We want to create an album of women and men in teal from coast to coast.


chemo brain creates headache at work

As you may know, I have memory problems and get rattled with too much info too fast.  I have a job that does not provide me printed references because I work in a completely virtual world.  I am working with the assistance of DVR and a community neuro rehab therapist to help me retain my job and assist with accommodation requests.

My employer is aware that I have some cognitive challenges.  Well, I made a mistke tonight, didn't realize the gravity of the mistake and that it was such a big mistake. I am so upset.  I just can't remember everything and they don't give me enough time to re-read policies.  I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

For $12 per hour. 

It's a golden job opportunity with a great company, but I can't do well because I can't keep up with all the restrictions and limits associated with not being allowed to have printed material in my work from 
home setting.

Just feeling zinged.  I am trying so so hard to be a good employee.  I feel demeaned and stupid.

How can anyone memorize hundreds of pages of policies?  And I can't navigate the computer quickly enough on my small screen.  I am requesting a larger monitor so I can have multiple windows open, so that I can keep the policy references up and ready to access.  Seems logical right?

Just frustrated.  I still have a 7mm stable tumor on my liver.  Great to think I'll spend the rest of my life in low paying jobs constantly getting in trouble because I have a bad memory.  Fine.

Sorry, all I can think about is that I'm going to get fired now.

Great, just what I need.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Love All Life



Yesterday I was showered with grief over a crow that was dying in the street.  I was on my way to the pain clinic when I noticed a crowd of crows squawking and flapping their wings.  Inside this circle of black birds was a suffering, bleeding crow, flapping around, moaning with agony.  I pulled over, grabbed a towel from my trunk and gently scooped up the poor little soul to carefully rest him on the grass.  I said a little prayer and started to cry.

I looked into it's eyes and I could see it begging me to help him, and I could do nothing. He was almost gone. The other birds all gathered up along the telephone wire, continued their songs of fear and desperation, to help their friend.  It appeared that a car may have clipped this little guys wings, and rendered it to pass along with God.  I don't know.  It was just overwhelming.  

I suppose I should have called someone to take the bird away, but really I was too upset to do anything other than ponder how quickly life changes, zap, in an instant it's gone.

Like the poor people at the Sugarland concert in Indiana, suddenly, no warning, they passed to a new level of existence.  Just so tragic.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, my new job is to assist people with their emotions related to upsets over "stuff" missing, late, lost, etc.  Help them solve the problem  so they can do the important things in life.  I am so appreciative of my job, I just don't understand though why people put so much stock in stuff.

Why get so upset over stuff?  It's stuff.  It's not alive, it has no soul. Save your anger to defend the homeless man who is beaten to death.  Save your frustration to fight hunger.  Save your angst to give energy to help your neighbor.  Just a thought.

Below are a few articles on some new and non-traditional medical interventions to treat cancer.  

The article about a chemo bath is quite intriguing, and I wish I'd received a chemo bath when I was receiving my debulking surgery.  I remember distinctly speaking with a dear friend about this very thing, not knowing that the treatment was being studied. I said "why didn't they just spray a bunch of chemo inside my abdominal cavity while I was in surgery"?  I mean, seriously!

I was already going to be in severe pain. Oh well.  It just goes to show you how important it is for us patients to do research before surgery, if at all possible.  Patient be aware!  



I know my post is kind of all over the place, but I had to talk about the poor little crow.  When you look deeply into any animals eyes, you see "them" their spirit.  Love all life!

Peace and Blessings

Denise