Birthdayversary

At the end of July it will be two years since diagnosis.  In March 2012 it will be two years since treatment completion.  Milestones in terms of recovery.

Today, July 2, 2011, is my birthday.  This is the first birthday in Seattle that I felt totally engaged in and part of the celebration.  I know that sounds untrue, but it is totally honest.  I have so much more energy than last year and my body is recovering.  I've decided that the remaining pains and problems will probably be life-long.  For to have a life that is long with this pain is my blessing.......

I had the best time with my MOM, Sister, her husband and their two lovely girls.  We went to a Greek restaurant in Phinney Ridge called Yanni's.  It was delightful.  they cook all meals made to order, fresh food and comfortable, friendly atmosphere.  Beautiful venue, soft blues, nice artwork, clean, Greek music in the background.  I definitely want to go back.

The best part was that everyone enjoyed their meals, laughed and seemed to have a good time.  

The sun was so bright today, it was nice for a change not to worry about a coat. 

 Everything just came together,

My brother called me, my dad, my aunt and uncle, an old boyfriend sent flowers ( don't tell "J")...just kidding.  He is a friend and lives on the other side of the country.

Speaking of "J", things seem to be going well.  We walked around a green lake last week in the evening and had a late bite. Casual but so much fun.  He's so sweet.  Sigh....

My labs are good, 9 of 35 for the CA125.  I have some twinges in lower pelvis and that pesky ongoing abdominal pain that has taken up residence since surgery.  I was told that in that area are surgical clips.  Supposedly surgical clips can become surrounded with scar tissue, and get "inflamed".  Great....sigh  

So my pain is an ongoing issue, plus I get nausea with every single hot flash.........drag to the max.

I have a CT scan next week to rule out recurrence.  If nothing shows, they may refer me for an endoscopy.  I hope we have more conversations as to how to manage the clips.

I don't thing the clips can be removed as they were inserted to block the ovarian arteries. Now that I have no ovaries, there's no need for their blood supply.  But it makes complete sense that these darn clips are causing me pain.  Not sure if anything could ever be done about that........the battle continues always.

Ha...wanna hear a funny.  I got rejected to work in a call center.  How pathetic is that.  I guess I'm not quite the shark they need. Probably all for the better, I'd pry end up hating it, too much stress and rejection.

So the job hunt continues...........................................

I'll send an update on the CT scan.  The main energies in our family are directed to supporting my dear mom right now.  She has surgery in a few weeks and will start dialysis.  It's scary for me, not sure about anyone else.  I want her to do well and pray that she adapts easily to the treatments.  Most of all I pray she feels better and regains her sense of "life" and vigor.  I love you mom!!!!!

Peace and Blessings to all.  Thanks for stopping by!

My dream

I had a really interesting dream last night.  I dreamed about my amazing surgeon, my amazing gynoc, my family and other people I don't know.  It was a celebration, my party, that I no longer had cancer.  

It was fantastic.

Imagine an old french cottage, but it's the size of a huge warehouse.  The cottage house was nestled up in some mountain range and I was frantically trying to prepare food for my guests.  I knew they were coming over to celebrate my recovery, but I had no food to serve.  This was causing quite a panic.

All I had were partial jars of spaghetti sauce (which I rarely buy) and a fondue pot.  I was so stressed because I had all these people over and nothing to serve. Anyway, the place was crowded, laughter all around, everyone was having fun!  My beautiful sister was entertaining everyone with her artwork and she had even designed a fantastic set design for U2.  She had mocked up a miniature set backdrop and was going to enter it into a contest.  Everyone was proud of her work.

My cousin and loving aunt were with me in the kitchen helping with food, the rest of the family and friends were in the living area.  Suddenly my surgeon came in and gave me a big hug and off in the background my gynoc waved at me and gave me a big smile.

My surgeon was wearing a huge fur coat and looked like he was off to go skiing in the alps, funny.  He looked deep into my eyes and said I was going to be OK.  (I can still feel his hug)  It was a great dream.

I see my gynoc's nurse practitioner tomorrow, for a follow up, get a CA125 and physical exam.  I hope my dream is a reality and that things stay good.  I'll let ya know.  Have a great Sunday.

Peace, love and blessings.  

Thank You Cancer Lifeline

I wanted to take some time to thank Cancer Lifeline today.  I have been graced with their help in several ways, and if you are looking for a serious place to donate money, think of Cancer Lifeline.

For the past several months, I have been able to receive free dental care, and let me tell you, that has been a huge savings for me.  Chemotherapy can do a number on your teeth, and through Cancer Lifeline, amazing dentists and dental assistants volunteer their time to help cancer patients maintain healthy teeth.  At the risk of getting too personal, I was unable to tend to my teeth while on chemo and for a while after chemo.  

Several months ago I was referred to their services by a team member of the Survivor program at the SCCA.  The SCCA takes very good care to help patients with aftercare, and the dental referral was part of that ongoing maintenance.  Wow, I couldn't be happier.

The other blessing offered to me has been a recent series of phone calls from a Cancer Lifeline volunteer.  I have the opportunity to talk about my feelings and figure out healthy ways to resolve emotions related to my cancer.  It has really helped me a lot, especially in the past few weeks.  

Cancer is complicated, everyone has their own view on cancer, it's process and an individual's future.  We all want for nothing but great results to come from surgery and treatments, and hopefully that IS the case.  Getting through the process of diagnosis, treatment and recovery comes with all kinds of issues, good and bad.  Cancer Lifeline offers just that, a lifeline.  Check them out and see for yourself.  Maybe you are a cancer patient in the area or a caregiver in need of a little support.  Peace, Love and Blessings

http://www.cancerlifeline.org/