chemoland

Hi everyone,

I had a respite from blogging because I started chemo, and have been a bit on the down side. I have been required to get a daily lab draw, and injections of Neupogen to boost my immune system as needed. My patience has been on the thin side, sitting in the waiting room every day. AND, I still have to do all the things you normally would need to do if you were moving. I am exhausted, didn't even make it to church today. I get another dose of chemo in three days, and really can't say that I'm excited. The blessing here is that I CAN get chemotherapy and that it could finish the surgeon's handywork.

The side effects kicked in about 24 hours after the treatment. I got nausea just pressing on my tummy, not fun. My fatigue is over the top, but I'm managing. Nothing tastes good and I still have to be careful about what I eat. I still have abdominal pain from the surgery!

I have been informed that I will start losing my hair next week. Not sure what to feel about that either. I went looking for a scarf or wrap yesterday, no luck. Too tired to shop around. Hair grows back, so it's not too big of a deal. The thing I am dreading is feeling sickly. THAT I can do without. I don't do "sick" well, never have. Pain, I have been able to manage, but "sick", not so much. Hopefully I will be able to DEAL and find ways to get mental and spiritual control over the side effects of poison streaming through my body.

I have met so many wonderful people who have suffered through chemotherapy and they seem to be doing well, and look "alive". So I keep their images in the back of my mind.

I get to see my brother and sister in less than a week! Yeah! I am praying for their safe travel. I am so excited to see them. This week is going to be very busy, getting the final preparations made for moving, while each day getting lab work, or chemo, or iron treatments. It is a bit exhausting. There is still so much to do, sigh.

Hopefully I can visit my church after my IV iron treatment on Monday.

This must sound so boring, but it is my life now. Managing my cancer has suddenly become a full time job, literally. Managing meds, keeping my journal, daily appointments, trying to get to the store, what to eat, can I eat?

Someday we will treat cancer not with poison, but with intelligent nano-medicine, that only destroys cancer cells. That technology exists already, I just wish it was in use today.

I thank God for my family and friends. Thank you for getting me through this nightmare. Love, Denise