Merry Christmas

We are approaching the most holy day of the year, the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is a time for celebration. I feel inadequate and undeserving, truly. I will miss Christmas mass for the first time in years and it makes me cry. I simply cannot tolerate a midnight mass and 9am Christmas mass will be too crowded for me. I pray that God understands. Maybe something will change and I will be able to attend.

I have not been writing because the blast of Cisplatin, combined with a poorly timed dose of Taxol, wiped me out. For days I was so full of nausea and severe fatigue. With Christmas to prepare for, the one grace is that I have no chemo this week. I feel scattered today, my words do not flow in any organized fashion.

I want to stay focused on what gives me gratitude, such as the kindess of our neighbor who brought over spaghetti. My home minister Patricia who is so dedicated, brings me Holy Communion every week. My family my family my family. Not enough can be said to honor the dedication and sacrifice my mother, Mandy, Patrick and their children have made to accomodate my hospitalizations and chemo schedule. I love you all so much.

This Christmas I will be rejoicing in the celebration of the birth of Jesus, and praying that we all remember that Jesus is in each of us. With that I will pray that this new season will bring all of us to love one another more deeply, treat each other with more kindness, and have more compassion for our fellow human beings. I will be thanking God for I have been the recipient of such grace over and over again from friends, strangers and my loving family. I am so blessed and fortunate. I wish all of you a very blessed holy Merry Christmas this year. Love, Denise

Thank you God

I just heard good news about Uncle Rich. His myeloma is localized, and has not spread to other tissue. Thank you God for taking care of him. Now he still needs radiation, a grueling three week schedule in January, but there is now new hope. He will get to enjoy time with family and friends for the holidays. Thank you all for your prayers for him, thank you Lord for your healing.

Now I request prayers for my dear mom. She has had Type I diabetes since age 23, for 40 years. She has been on an insulin pump for 10 years. Now her pump is causing her pain and she is running out of "pain free" space on her abdomen to place the pump needle. She needs to see a diabetic educator to see if they will be able to help her better use the pump, but my mom is doubtful any educator will be able to solve this problem.

My mother provides me food, shelter, daily support and love and acts with grace each day to help me heal. She is under a lot of pressure though and deeply misses her friends and social life. Her diabetes has made it hard for her to be free to do what she wants to do on her timeframe. Her pump is the only device that can control her blood sugar levels. I pray deeply for her to find happiness and healing with her pump. Her pump is her lifesaver and it needs to work.

Please help me pray for my mom.

Love,
Denise

prayer for Uncle Rich

Yesterday we got bad news, my Uncle Rich has myeloma. He has had a bump on his sternum for over a year and was unfortunately diagnosed with myeloma yesterday. He will need a bone marrow test next week to determine the stage of illness. This is so unfortunate, so sad. He works so hard. His doctors had told him he had ankylosing spondylitis, and they now seem to be incorrect. I am hoping that all my friends will pray for Uncle Rich and Aunt Debbie, and their children in this time of need. We all remain hopeful and positive.

Like me, he could benefit by receiving top notch surgery or radiation or chemo, and clear his body of this illness. I pray for them and for their doctors, that they are able to quickly and thoroughly treat his myeloma. Love you guys.

On a side note, due to my allergic reaction to carboplatin, I now will need to receive a new platinum drug in hospital next week. My doctor wants me to take cisplatin, and it requires being hooked up to IV fluids for 4 hours to prepare the kidneys. The cisplatin causes kidney failure unless you are thoroughly hydrated. My doctor said that she didn't want to chance any further allergic reactions to carboplatin, because it could be a deadly reaction the next time around. Scary.

The other down side of cisplatin is that it causes more nausea, so I am definitely not looking forward to that. I plan to psyche myself up and mentally prepare as much as possible. I am sure that the anti-nausea meds will do as much as possible and I will just pray that I don't have too much of a reaction. I am very disappointed that I have to be hospitalized for this upcoming chemo treatment. It will be more expensive and just the nature of the treatment is intimidating. I do know that the U of W hospital is very nice, staff very professional and that I will be made as comfortable as possible. Bless my sister Mandy, for she will stay with me.

Love you all,
Denise