Blessings to all of my readers. I pray you are well and that your treatments are enhancing your lives as you continue to experience whatever comes towards you. If you have been in a hurricane disaster zone I pray for your recovery and that you can continue to receive your medical care uninterrupted, This was such a tragedy for people in Texas and Florida.
I am still on Zejula but at a reduced dose. The 300 mg per day dosage debilitated me because of the side effects. I took a 30 day break and resumed on a lower dose of 200 mg per day in the beginning of August. So far it is manageable but it's only been 2 weeks. My intestines are damaged and I probably have quite a bit of scar tissue from the original surgery to remove my cancer in 2009. I was not getting enough sleep and felt like a zombie, literally.
I am already disabled so the extra side effects were are unwelcome. I go back and forth because the truth is that I don't want to experience side effects that mimic front-line treatment when I am on maintenance therapy. However, I do have confidence in Zejula so it is a matter of finding a tolerable balance.
Avastin will be too hard on my kidneys if I resume but it is still an option if my current regimen cannot be continued.
I was a little lost this past year on a personal level. I wanted to be a postulant in consideration for the sisterhood but was devastated when I found out I am too old. It really threw me for a loop because the truth is I have no career goals, I just want to serve God. I want what remains of my life to be put to the Lord's use but hearing Him is difficult at this time. I don't know why. I am overwhelmed with the world sometimes and have so much gratitude that I can do what I do. That I get to mass every week is a true blessing!
So some other things fell in my lap, like participating in pro-life events and groups. I cannot work but wouldn't mind adding to my newsletter writing for small fees. I love animals and spent a little time volunteering online to help rescue animals abandoned due to Hurricane Harvey. I am a lector at my parish. I am sleeping 12 hours per day again.
I see my dad once per month, praise God, and a cousin once per month as well. I see a great aunt and uncle from Kansas every other month when they visit Colorado. My sweet kit kat Marilyn is still beside me guarding me against the blues every day. My days are filled with prayer and I hope to do some soapmaking as the fall season draws near.
I am all turned around though. Searching for a real purpose/vocation has been my biggest burden since day one with ovarian cancer. I am sure you all can understand this. I am single and not having a family can be depressing. I want someone to take care of. I want to help others. I also want to go to a beach for awhile...ha!
I just don't know now what God wants me to do. I thought it was to be in the sisterhood and I was wrong. So now I am lost again. Please pray for me to find my purpose and to be able to fulfill it.
Please also share this upcoming retreat with anyone in south Texas who wants to attend our retreat. I have a dedicated website for the retreats: Facing Our Immortality
God Bless you!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for giving to me your precious time. I look forward to what you have to say. Peace and Blessings, Always.