CDC Symptom Diary Card

Monday, June 25, 2012

4th Chemo kicking my behind

My mom with Kate, at the NBC Today Show.  Kate was our producer, so sweet.  My mom still beats down the doors of diabetes every day, and wins!
I painted this little fish when I was on chemo in 2010.  I just love the  blue.

As I sit here drenched because of the side effects I wonder why I don't look like a swimsuit model.  I just can't explain how ridiculously sick I have felt since last Monday.  Actually, yesterday was a good day and this morning I am faring "ok".  

My sister took me home from the hospital last Tuesday after another round of Carboplatin via a desensitization protocol, and I was thinking "I'm good". She bought me a soy vanilla latte ( I know, bad soy bad soy).  I can't remember much after she left, except to say that all week I was very short of breath.

All week I got drenched in sweats and would have bad nausea, be unable to breathe well, and just super tired.  I hardly drank a thing for three days, big NO NO.  I did the best I could. I took my meds like I was supposed to, oh well.  I am on the up side of the recovery now, whew.

Yesterday was the first day I had a cup of coffee.

My mom and aunt were so sweet to come over Thursday night because I couldn't function.  I was crying because I couldn't catch my breath.  It wasn't like I needed 911, it was just a knowingness that my body was having a hard time with the chemo.  Harder than last time.

Today I am so lucky that I feel well enough, I can go with my mom to her rehab and spend some precious time with my aunt.  

I only have two more chemotherapy treatments to go.  Strangely my CA125 marker is slightly rising.  Not sure what it means because my gyn onc stated that the marker is not reliable.  When my recurrence was diagnosed, it was 15.  15 is a dream number, a great number, if you are not in a recurrence.  So for me, 15 is not good.  It was 38 at the end of May.  I try not to obsess about numbers, but hmmmmmmmm.  

So today is a great new day.  I am thinking about some friends, one who's mom and brother are ill.  One who is having her hip replaced and another who will be having brain surgery in a few days.  

We just need to keep looking forward and doing the best we can.  I feel so so so blessed that I get to talk with my family every day, or send a little text, or look at a few photos.  And, I have this sweet little cat named Marilyn, who stays within 5 feet of me all day long.  How bad can this life be?

Love you all.........................


  1. Love you...sending you serene, peaceful vibes and lots of stamina energy waves....xoxox

  2. Tons of love to you, Denise. Big hugs...

  3. You are a real warrior! Your strength and focus during this are amazing.

    Rock on, sista.

  4. Anne Marie and Jan, thank you so much. My chemo fog is still here. Your encouragement is very special!

  5. Oh Denise,

    It breaks my heart to see you going through the brutal chemo, to have this recurrence.

    You have supported us with such caring in our cancer battle and I wish there was more we could do for you. Meanwhile, our prayers headed your way..


    1. Hi Joe, we are all in this together. I am here with you and Heidi and pray,deeply that all goes well with her surgery tomorrow. Thank you so much....

  6. Wishing you fast chemo recovery as you move ahead. Each treatment is its own challenge, as you know. So sorry to hear you’re having a hard time – but like you say, 2 months of treatment left. One day at a time, and keep writing.

  7. Catherine, thank you for your kind words of support. I need to create a new post. I have to change chemos because the carboplatin isn't working. Sigh. Will do the new post soon. My poor mom is in the hospital and got an infection. She is in H E doubletoothpicks with pain. Oh ....I just keep praying as I know God intends for love and pain and He carries us when we are in pain.


Thank you for giving to me your precious time. I look forward to what you have to say. Peace and Blessings, Always.