The ticket nobody ever wants to get

I'm not sure if it is because Halloween is coming or that I'm on chemo, but the nightmares were relentless over the past 48 hours.  I completely missed yesterday because I was so sick, thank God my sister could come over this afternoon and bring me some soup, and a few little meals for the cat.  When she arrived I could barely stand up straight.

It all began Friday night with nightmares from hell, and I say that most literally.  My dream, in techno-color, started off with a ghoulish man offering me a ticket to hell.  He smiled at me and said it would be perfect for me, that I would be  happy and that I will get to be there forever.  I don't remember accepting the ticket, but I found myself in what would otherwise be a musty moldy dirty sorority house. Lined up along the wall with other recruits, we were taken in small groups to our headquarters.  I was to stay in this extra large master suite, which off to one side had a maternity room and off to the other was someone's master bedroom.  It was a beautiful setting.  The finest marble, linens, and one tiny bottle of perfume on the bathroom sink.  

I know we were all ghosts, and that this room had tragedy written all over it.  Now I remember that there was a reverend n the main hall of the sorority house of ghoul, and he wanted me to pray.  He demanded that I pray some prayer sends people to hell, and I refused.  I started say "Our Father Who art in Heaven...." and he stormed fuming mad and yelled "Happy Easter".

One of the recruits had been sanctioned to remain in what would later become known to me as a crib, but at first I just thought she was to big for the bed.  She was literally stuck in the crib and said that she was never going to get out of if, no way to repair the damage.  I felt scared.  There were four other ladies who had to share the space in this master suite, and we did not get along.  The rules were that we had to attend daily classes and when not in class we were to be in our suite.  But the suite was cluttered with furniture, but no extra beds.  I of course missed my ride to class and begged for one of the other ladies to take me, which she did but it came at a price.  The drive was scary to and fro, and when I was in the residence, I became the target of ridicule.  For example, I had asked for make up advice, and my enemy gave me this deep magenta lipstick.  I had said I wanted something off color or unique and she turned that into "unattractive" and the lipstick was designed in such a way that it never stayed on the line you created, so my face was always messy.

At night I would fly with a group of other ticket holders and we would chase down innocent people walking in the street.  It was absolutely frightening, they would look back up towards me and scream, and I would just chase them.  This scenario ended with one of the male ghouls wanting for me to be his bride and I think my brain blew a gasket and I found myself in another nightmare.

I was in transition, moving from one house to another.  I could not afford where I was living and my room mates did not want a sick room mate (in this dream I have cancer).  So I was forced to find something else.  Well, an unbelievable flat became available in a bad part of town, but the flat was not what it was represented to be.  I had read or had been told that I would have my own kitchen, bath, living space and bedroom.  

So I grabbed a few things to get ready for one night there, forgot food and coffee, but brought basics and some clothes.  The layout was open, lots of metal and glass in the interior design,  Pretty layout, with two floors, and one big pane window that looked to the Denver skyline.  It was raining like crazy.  I was getting comfortable when all of a sudden another family came into the space and started setting up shop in the kitchen.  I went in and said that this was my place and the husband said "no it's not".  He pointed down some rickety stairs and said that downstairs was my area.  

I went downstairs and the walls were unfinished, drywall on one side, dust, nails. no running water, no kitchen, no restroom, nothing.  Just concrete and unfinished work.

So I went upstairs to argue with them and begged them to let me stay on the main floor.  They eventually agreed.  It's at this point in my dreaming that I started to get nauseous, and I wonder if that is when my actual nausea set in.  (It's still Friday night).  So as they finished their dinner, they said their peace and went downstairs.  I suddenly started to panic because I could feel myself getting sick, and I had no food.  

It was now dark, raining heavily, and I had no idea where a store would be.  I rummaged through the cabinets only to find instant Folgers and those little creamers you find at an all night diner.

I must have been stuck looking for food for a while.  I did take a shower only to discover that the shower was a public shower, and one of the guys saw me.  Creepy.

So in real life on Saturday morning I woke up with a severe beyond horrible headache, nausea, sweats, chills, and abdominal pain.  I managed to call work to take some sick time, hoping I would be better for my second shift.  I took a compazine, and a zofran and other things to calm my stomach.  Called my mommy because when I feel like that I want my mommy.  I was so  sick.  My nightmares continued, resuming the ticket to hell dream, of course, and I woke up around 5 (?????)  I don't remember but had to call work again because I couldn't hardly stand.  

I managed another zofran and some water and back to bed I went.

My lovely adorable kitty cat stayed with me the whole time.  My sweet sister came over on Sunday afternoon with soup and cat food.

I have more nightmares to share but am too tired to type any more.(Grandma making me give penance about a car accident that I didn't start, but could have triggered, in the snow) and wild dogs....

The best part that has saved me Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night through all this sleeping has been my sweet little kitty cat Marilyn.  She does not leave my side.

I think when I get chemo, the anti-emetics given via IV during chemo just stop working suddenly.  I had a lot of nausea last time, that hit me several days after the treatment.   Thank goodness she came over because I could barely walk.

I am getting ready to have a bit more soup and go to bed, but wanted to share this because I am praying I am never offered a ticket to hell.  Purgatory is a grace, and I will gladly go there to cleanse myself of my sins, but not wanting hell.  No way........I wonder what these nightmares mean?

To better days?

Something Special for your Heart and Eyes

My muse and champion is continuing along her journey with art.  I have two of her beautiful works in my living room, and each piece tells a story of courage and hope.  

She simply does not just paint, she converses with you about important times in our history.  

She has a unique talent and eye for creating optimal emotion in her works.  

If you go to her blog, you can read the stories behind each piece. 

Mandy was and is one of my earthly angels.  Her works make me happy.

They will make you happy too and she is having a special sale now.  

Below you can read about Mandy of Weathered Silo

I am a self-taught artist with a passion for objects timeworn and uncovering what lies beneath. I sketch, paint, and occasionally sew. My studio name pays tribute to my great-grandparents and their parents who homesteaded in the early 1900s on the prairies of Kansas, Colorado, and New Mexico.

 photo via Shorpy

Don't you just love this photograph?! Those faces, those clothes! I think its the perfect image to announce my 40% off sale.

Why am I having this HUGE SALE? Because I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who's hung in there and supported my work along the way. I'm definitely still creating art, it's just that I'm in a slow period since I am helping my mom through some serious health issues. My energies have also been focused on settling into the new school year, new school community, and part-time work. Thank you for not giving up on me!
  

For one week only everything my Etsy shop will be 40% off. Just be sure to enter the coupon code THANKYOU40 at checkout to receive your discount. Sale ends midnight Pacific time Friday, October 19th. Happy shopping!

Securing the Future of American Health Care — NEJM

Securing the Future of American Health Care — NEJM

"The law also roots out waste and fraud in Medicare and Medicaid, gets rid of insurance overpayments, reinvests those savings back into the system, and adds 8 years to the solvency of Medicare. Obamacare is closing the Medicare doughnut hole — saving people an average of $600 last year — and bolstering your efforts to get your patients to adhere to their medications. More than 3 million young adults who would otherwise be uninsured have coverage on their parents' plan until they are 26 years old, and up to 17 million children with preexisting conditions are no longer at risk of being denied coverage. Small-business owners are getting tax credits to provide coverage for their workers and will soon be able to pool together to leverage better rates, just like big corporations."

ObamaCare Facts: Facts on the Obama Health Care Plan

http://obamacarefacts.com/index.php

 

Obama Care Facts 2012 - We Tell you the Facts, Not The Talking Points

We present the Facts on Obama Care (ObamaCare) / The Health Care for America plan. Our goal is to help you understand the basics of the Obama Care health care plan and bill, so you can decide for yourself what you think of ObamaCare, based on the facts and not the News Radio / TV opinions.

(ObamaCare Facts Image Public Domain, Photo by Chuck Kennedy; U.S. Government Work)

• ObamaCare, Obama Care and Health Care for America are all the same thing; an extension of thePatient Protection and the Affordable Care Act and ongoing efforts to reform the health care industry.

• Some aspects of Obamacare health care reform are already enacted. The Patient Protection andAffordable Care Act was signed 2 years ago, I bet you didn't even notice unless you needed coverage and didn't have it. The Affordable Care Act requires thatinsurance plans cover preventative services and stopsinsurance companies form dropping you when you are sick as well as offering a number of other reforms and protections.

• ObamaCare is a hot button political issue and both sides of the isle will try to persuade you for or against it. You need THE FACTS on ObamaCare and the Health Care For America Plan.

• ObamaCare's goal is to provide affordable health insurance for all US citizens.

• ObamaCare does not replace private insurance or medicaid

• Medicaid will be reformed and expanded in order to help cover more people, especially those below the poverty level.

• ObamaCare aims to improve community health care centers in an effort improve health care for those who cannot afford private health care.

• Affordable health coverage means American's and their families pay what they can afford.

• American Employers need to provide comparable coverage to theHealth Care for America Plan or pay a modest and fair Tax to support ObamaCare. (like the current state run unemployment and workers compensation programs)

• If an American or their family chooses not to purchase healthcare through the Health Care for America Act they can buy private insurance. Those who chose to not participate will pay a penalty tax to help cover the rest of us. In other words no one is actually forcing you to havehealth insurance.

• 19 million Americans will receive tax credits to help pay for healthcare and most middle class Americans will actually save thousands on healthcare via tax cuts (this has been going on for the past 3 years already)

• The government is by the people and for the people. The health insurance companies are for profit organizations who are for the bottom line and the investors.

• ObamaCare ensures that sick people can't be dropped from insurance, people can't be denied for preexisting conditions and women can't be charged more than men by insurance companies. These measures prevent all types of discrimination in regards to your right to health care.

• All Americans have the option to stay on their current healthcare plans.

• Those with incomes exceeding 250k will be subject to higher taxes. This will help pay for the ObamaCare. As you can imagine this does not make some people happy. Though it's important to note that those making less will not be losing money, rather they will be gaining the option of healthcare.

• The Affordable Health Care Act doesn't just focus on insurance, it also reforms the parts of the healthcare system that aren't working or are costing the tax payer money. For example by focusing on preventive measures instead of just treatment ObamaCare will save tens of billions of dollars and tens of thousands of lives.

• The average American will save money under Obamacare. In fact many Americans are already paying less for health care services.

• Obamacare cuts the national deficit by over 100,000,000,000 dollars during it's first 10 years.

• Over the next two decades Obamacare is projected to cut the national deficit by over 1,000,000,000,000 dollars.

• ObamaCare aims to make it easier for small businesses to provide coverage to workers by offering Tax Credits to employers who enroll their workers in private healthcare plans.

• One of the main goals of ObamaCare is to ensure that all preventative care will be free on all insurance plans. Private insurance plans that are grand fathered in and are all ready in place will be exempt until they lose their grand fathered status.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: The "ObamaCare" Bill is currently signed into law. There are many people, including Mitt Romney who would like to see ObamaCare repealed. If this happens millions of Americans will be without proper health coverage, many more will be dropped from private insurance companies who are not required to provide healthcare. From employers will drop health care plans of workers. Many more will suffer the consequences of a health care system controlled by private companies, who's bottom line is money and not health.

Danny DeVito and Crew Speak Out for Prop 37, GMO Labeling | Common Dreams

We know not the effect of genetically engineered foods on disease, but common sense will tell you that it can't be good.  I don't want Monsanto dictating what I feed my body, do you?

Danny DeVito and Crew Speak Out for Prop 37, GMO Labeling | Common Dreams

Published on Tuesday, October 9, 2012 by Food & Water Watch

Danny DeVito and Crew Speak Out for Prop 37, GMO Labeling

In November, Californians will vote on Prop 37 requiring that GE foods be labeled. Just as labels list fat, sodium and sugar, labels should tell the buyer whether or not the product includes genetically engineered ingredients.

Unfortunately, major corporations like Monsanto are pouring billions of dollars into this election in order to confuse voters, and protect their bottom line.

Sign the pledge here if you plan to vote YES on Prop 37 and support the labeling of genetically engineered foods in California.

Here also is an interesting article published in 2010 by http://www.farmaid.org/site/apps/nlnet/content2.aspx?c=qlI5IhNVJsE&b=2723877&ct=8939681&notoc=1     

"With the power to own and patent genetics, seed companies can demand even more control over the market as a whole. The seed industry has suffered enormous concentration of power in the past few decades, with at least 200 independent seed companies exiting the market in the last fifteen years and four companies now controlling over 50% of the market. This consolidation means farmers have far fewer options for seed varieties. Meanwhile, farmers have seen the sharpest rise in seed prices during the period in which GE crops rose in prominence.[13]

In this sense, the deregulation of new GE varieties comes as a slap in the face to the farmers and eaters who put their trust in the USDA and Department of Justice as they examined antitrust abuses in our food system this past year, including specific investigations into Monsanto and the seed industry. The newest wave of GE products will only further corporate control over our food supply, putting the interests of corporations far before the needs of farmers and eaters.

The bottom line? 
Surely, this is a lot to take in. Genetic engineering is a complicated topic, with a broad set of consequences for our society. There are many questions left unanswered about how GE will impact farmers and eaters, and even less clarity about how these impacts will be managed.

Until our regulatory system and the biotech companies themselves properly address the risks inherent in GE crops, farmers and eaters have a right to reject them. Releasing GE crops into the fields without mitigating their risks is gambling with our health, our environment and livelihoods of family farmers."

"Landslide" by Stevie Nicks, such a beautiful song.

A few months ago my mom was in the hospital for almost an entire month.  She is doing well again, thanks be to God.  I heard this song one day as I was pulling out of the hospital's parking garage, and lost it.

Now when I hear this song, I realize I cannot handle the seasons of my life, but I will do so anyway.

I play this as a tribute to all of our parents and to those who have died, who have suffered in pain.