On my way home from the oncology visit I decided to stop at the store, and met a homeless man eating samples from the deli soup cart. He stopped me in my tracks with questions about movie characters, he was stuck on "Ghostbusters" and couldn't remember one of the actors. Well, he was talking to the wrong person, because I can't remember stuff like that, so we had a heck of a time.
What caught me was that he was so engaging, polite, and outwardly interested. He told me he was a veteran and had PTSD, and that the government gives him $500 a month. He carries with him a bucket, his backpack and a squeegee. He washes windows on cars to make extra money. My mind flashed back to a time during college when a few of us drove to Mexico, and in the shanty towns children would surround the car, each with a squeegee, asking to wash your window for a quarter.
This man was tall, african american, handsome in a sense, but skinny as a rail. He had on lots of layers but when I saw his waist I gasped. It is heartbreaking. He talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked. He was well read, and put me to shame.
I gave him $10. On my way out of the store, he stole a flower from the floral department and handed it to me. He also kept asking for my phone number, but of course that wasn't going to give it to him, ha ha. But he did give me a slight kiss on the back of my hand. I can't believe I let that happen, but I wasn't afraid.
I drove away and he disappeared, probably went back into the store for more soup. I had not mentioned the obvious yesterday, but please keep this fellow in your prayers too. What he must endure, I can't imagine.
Today my oncologist called to say my CT scan showed a few things and she wants to do a PET Scan. I guess there is a small lesion in my lower pelvis and the one on my liver seems to be a concern. She is being cautious and wants to check for activity levels in these areas. They are small though, about half an inch or so. My CA125 is 15, so that is good. She said that if it were 100, then she would think I was in a recurrence.
So for now I await the nurse's call to schedule the PET Scan. sigh
I scheduled a flight to Colorado the end of April, and I want to not be on chemo.....ugh....can't think about that I guess..........can't worry about that......if it looks like I need treatment then I'll take a short flight out early before I start treatment. It took me over a year after I finished chemo the first time to be able to travel...........sigh. This is the life of cancer, it comes and goes, it never completely goes away.
I feel nothing right now. I have no control over this and ...................I don't know. Anyway, I just pray that it's nothing to be worried about. I was blessed to meet such an interesting person yesterday and I have a loving family, and am so grateful to God that my doctor is amazing.
Peace and Love,
Denise
