CDC Symptom Diary Card

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Great Article on ChemoBrain

http://www.curetoday.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/article.show/id/2/article_id/1642

Not to justify my problems or anything, but this is a great article that helps explain some of what I experience.  Especially the part about short term memory and word recall.  I still need 10 hours of sleep per night.........but I hope it gets better. 

Maybe as the days get longer, huh?  That would be great.


Thursday, March 17, 2011

What matters



Mom had her surgery on Monday and is doing well.  She is preparing for dialysis and the vascular surgeon needed to create a few access ports in her body, one vascular, one peritoneal.  In the midst of her personal challenges I have been glued to the TV, like many, shocked by the Japanese tragedy unfolding before us.

Libya also now has a "no fly zone" and yet people are tweeting about St. Patrick's donut designs.

I get really confused with all this chaos and inconsistency.

On one hand we need to do all we can to be personally responsible for self maintenance and happiness, seeking whatever solace we can find in God, nature, family, work, etc.  Yet, collectively it does not matter, when you see an entire town vanish before your eyes with a fierce wall of water and debris.  When you see on TV a huge ship next to a wrecked home, and debris everywhere, you can't think.  You're stuck because you really can't do anything other than Pray and give money.

But here in my home, we still need to eat, take meds, go to doctors, watch TV, talk to family, plan for something fun to do when mom heals from surgery, etc etc etc.

I still battle my daily nausea and still can't wear jeans because I literally cannot tolerate pressure on my abdomen.  Wow, do I need a fashion make-over or what?

I see voc rehab at the end of the month.  Does it matter in the big pictuer?  It does, because I need to still take care of myself and those around me. 

We all need to follow the Japanese when it comes to community.  America is so "independent" that sometimes we hurt ourselves.  We frown on elderly and disabled living with family, as it it's some kind of crime.  In Asian culture, they take care of their parents, with pride.

I love helping my mom and pray she will continue to "let" me help her as much as possible.  She is so so so inependent, and in a way that independent nature is what literally feeds her life force.  But it is OK to ask for help.

Today I pray that people learn from Japan's tragedy and take care of their family and neighbors, love one another more and more.  We never know what will strike us down.  My faith in God keeps me going and is really the only thing that can calm and center me.  And when I say that, I see God in everyone around me.  So say when my sister comforts  me or mom, she is like a beam of light shining from above.  Or when my aunt comes to town, and brings much needed cheer to my mom, it's like one of Gods's angels said to tell her God loves her.

Love one another, especially today.

Peace

Friday, March 11, 2011

Missing Jayne from Shoppingkarma

I wasn't ready to read about Jayne's passing, not at all.  I'm not ready to say goodbye to a wonderful OC sister who helped me to live more.  Jayne has the blog "shoppingkarma" off to the left.  I feel sickened, literally.  She had so much joy and love to give, and give she did, freely.

I had been out of touch most of this week, and tonight I was going to post a message to the people of Japan.  I always check on my friends before posting, just in case something closer to my heart arises.

My heart aches deeply for the people in Japan.  My heart aches and I can't breath for the loss of Jayne.  May God Bless her husband Jimmy and may God carry Jayne in his tender arms and take make to vanish all of her pain.  I'm so so so sorry that Jayne has passed.

I miss you Jayne, and will send you my love in my prayers.

God Bless,
Denise